The nights alone scare me. The anxiety mounts by the hour, and all I can think about is hurting myself. I want to be anywhere but here–alone in my apartment with no one to talk to and nothing to do.
The desire to end my life right now is crushing. I don’t know if I’ll make it.
6 comments
Why is being alone in your apartment so bad? Talk to me ….I’m alone too. The TV is on, that helps.
There’s just too much time to think. And it’s like I can’t remember how to function without human interaction. I just feel insanely anxious when I’m alone. And I can’t trust myself.
Nah. Hang in there. You have us, right? Just vent. Do you have any pets? A dog or a cat does wonders. They love you no matter what.
not cats tzaz, those little fuzzy bastards…
I live alone too. I have no friends here anymore. I get it. Its hard to come home to an empty apartment. It gets easier if you dont think about it though. I sleep and work alot. Seems to help. Got any hobbies? Spend the alone time doing something you enjoy or something to better yourself.
I work nights, so when I’m off I have to be quiet. It rules out a lot of things I’d like to do. Working at night rules out even more. So I basically work and sleep and nothing else. It’s the nights off that are dangerous. I can’t distract myself from the self-destructive thoughts, no matter what I do. I always have the knowledge that the tools to end my life are an arms reach away. And I’m hurting myself more and more. I’m going to fuck up eventually and have to explain the marks to people at work. I can’t deal with that.
I know it sounds pathetic, but I have no one. And even if I did, why would they get up at 3am to talk to me? I’m nothing. Nothing I feel means anything. Nothing I say is heard. I could scream at the top of my lungs in no uncertain terms that I want to die, and people would either laugh, ignore me, or scold me for being selfish.