i just dont know

everything is so confusing, like one second im fine and the next i want to feel pain, and little stuff sets me off, i feel like my friends dont want me around and i have hard times being around my family. when my mother drinks i become panicie and feel the need to cut. tonight i dont know i just was really upset and i dont see a point to life, you live then die and put up with everything in bettween, i only feel kinda happy like 50% of time if even then i just dont know anymore. im sorry this is really random and im just upset at pretty much nothing its pretty pathetic , i just really wanted to get some out for now where no one i know could affect me