Tonight was the night, i was planing on over dosing on sleeping pills but eveyone has made it very clear it nearly never works, im really dissapointed in myself cause i dont want to live anymore but it scary having to die, i guess the feeling scary to but i never felt it but i dont want to feel it, i think im thing it to much through ive read on dying on the last few day and starting to feel hopeless and more an more alone. but people made it clear my cry for help is not being heard i know some one will just tell me not to do it but i havent done it and im still hear. i want to do the darvon cocktail but those drugs are really hard to obtain and sounds costy everything so much money these day i cant went get help if i wanted to cause theyd just charge me . I see how everyone i know show some sort of dissapointment in me and i now know why cause im a coward cant deal with the pain of living or of death im so trapped.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
3 comments
I know that feeling. I’m afraid of living and dying because of the pain that comes with it. There are times where I’m not even sure if I want to die but there are also times where I don’t even know if I should continue to live. People always ask my what’s so scary about living and I don’t know how to explain it to them, but if they ask me what’s so scary about dying I could give them an easy picture that they could relate to. You’re not alone, but it’s still not an easy way to live. I’m rambling, but I understand where you are right now. >__<
as trapped as you might feel now, at least you aren’t in the psych ward having overdosed and fucked it up where they would FORCE you to pay for treatment weather you want it or not. you’d be put in the system and owe hundreds of dollars waiting to get out so you could off yourself again, and you wouldn’t have the freedom to be honest with even strangers on the internet (unless you’d like a lengthier stay involving greater debt) the only way out is to lie through your teeth and wear the bunny suit and jump when they say jump.
I mean-there’s shittier cages than the one you’re in. not that that makes it any better but.. you’re smart to admit you don’t know what you’re doing whereas many people (myself included) just went for it and fucked up and ended up in a worse situation.
If you’re contemplating suicide, you obviously aren’t happy with the way you are right now, so why would it be an issue if you received help and became a better, happier person? Because your opinion of yourself couldn’t possibly get any lower if you truly are considering ending your life. Just a thought