I woke up today at 3 am. My phone decided it’s on silent, and has no alarms, but will go off anyway. I laid in bed for a good two hours. Then, I rolled over and laid there some more. My brother came downstairs, but I pretended to be asleep because I didn’t want to try and talk to him. After another twenty minutes, I got up to get dressed. Barely upstairs for a minute before my mom gets pissed. Apparently when she said today worked for her to take me for a haircut, she meant Thursday. Excuse me for being confused at that. Now, I know that I’m going to go to school, I’ll try and fail at doing my homework. When I stand up to give the speech I wrote, I’ll choke up, or worse (Something new that’s been occurring) I’ll start to stutter. I’ll give up on trying to talk to people. Then, I’ll get home, and she’ll talk about what a big inconvenience I am to her. Next, we’ll go to get my haircut, but it won’t be the way I want it. It’ll still be long and annoying, because she wants me to have long hair. And then, I’ll stare into the mirror and think about why I’m so ugly and useless. Up next, we have dinner, which I’ll try to hold down, and ultimately fail at as well. For the following round, we have some more lying around doing nothing. I’ll soon try to sleep, and it won’t work. My mind will be thinking of all the things I should’ve done or said today that I didn’t. And I’ll be disappointed in myself.
Again.
2 comments
This is actually a very heartfelt post… I am surprised. I can relate to alot of it actually.
You have to keep it down. If 20 mins have passed – then there is no point. Trust me.
What do you mean..?