I dedicated the last 23 years to her. Worked 60-70 hours a week, so she could be a “stay at home” Mom.
April, 2006 I had a heart attack. The next day before surgery the Doctor wanted to talk to her. She was at home in bed sleeping. She asked the Doctor, ” Did he really have a heart attack”?
That day I had 4 stents placed. 30 days later I was having another heart catherization and had another heart attack. They placed 4 more stents.
July 2007 had blockage in stents and they placed stent number 9 in Omaha, Nebraska.
December, 2007 had a MAJOR heart attack while in Bakersfield, California. I knocked on deaths door that day, but it wasn’t my time. They added stent number 10. Heart damaged so badly, now a heart failure patient. Not once did she ever believe there was anything wrong with me.
Late August 2011 had another blockage and they placed stent number 11. September 14 was rushed to hospital vomiting blood, ect… Ended up in hospital for 12 days and again faced the unknown and had an open hernia surgery. Cut me open from belly button to sternum. That was the worst so far.
After facing death itself, I changed. i quit smoking and drinking. Not such a good idea to mix with all the heart medications I now had to take.
In the 23 years she played shy and little miss innocent. Was lucky if I got it once every 6 weeks. Then I find out she was banging all kinds of guys on the side.
Moved to Oklahoma in 2008 and I filed for divorce. She called me a looser because I had the heart attacks and now was a heart failure patient. She states she was only with me as long as the pay check was there.
She tells our girls to lie to me about her new live in boyfriend, so she can still get alimony. She hooks up with a guy who doesn’t have a place to live, a car, a job and he is trying to get on disability. WTF? Does that make any sense?
Now she daily drinks herself to insanity.
Being a Heart Failure patient, I could die at any time. Statistically I have maybe one year left. 50 % of patients diagnosed with heart failure die within the first 5 years. I am on year 4.
Try going to bed each night, not knowing if you will wake up the next day. Not a comforting feeling.
We all will die. Life happens to all of us, but things can change for each of us in the blink of an eye. Maybe tomorrow will be better than today. Find that one thing to keep you going until tomorrow. It can and will change and get better.
I’ve been through a lot but it doesn’t compare to some. We all have our own degrees of challenges and if you have made it this far, maybe you can make it a little further.
Try to make it until tomorrow.
8 comments
@Fisher. Once evey six week’s. You should of knew.
That’s the problem, I did know and confronted her about it all the time. She just blew me off and said because I was diagnosed as Bipolar II, I was just crazy.
My whole life, wasted on her. I haven’t seen her for almost 3 years and she hasn’t called me in over 9 months. She has written me off.
She also told me she wished I would have died during one of my heart attacks, so she could at least get the insurance money!
Make sure she get’s no money from you. You had some rubbish luck. Just hope you have better luck next relationship.
Hi, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. It’s so unfair that you had to put up with so many rough things and all at the same time… but I love the last line of your post. Every time someone says something like that, especially after going through so much, it gives me hope : )
Thanks, I will.
Yeah, I guess my luck has been pretty bad in some respects. Surviving what I have Heart wise, I feel pretty lucky. I almost made the fatal mistake on my first one and went to “lay down”. If I had not got up and went to get help, I wouldn’t be here right now. I think the Universe should allow me to win the lottery now, to make sure my girls are taken care of when i am gone,because i know she is not going to do anything to help them.
I left over 3 years ago and she hasn’t once even gone and looked for a job. Sad really. Turns out she is really the Loser.
Feel no regrets. You did everything right, sometimes doing everything needed is still not enough. If you really feel your days are numbered you should go enjoy yourself, end it in style.
Man that’s sick I would be nuts you’re an extremely strong person.
i’ve always been able to see the bright side but now i’m starting to appreicate it. thanks for your story