Second Chances

I made a mistake. I can’t change it and that eats away at me inside. I think (know) I’m a little bit crazy. Things bother me. Like my hair, I can’t stop pulling it. I stopped for a while when I cut it a few months back, but apparently it’s long enough again and I’ve caught myself doing it many times every day. Sounds bother me, and heat. I wanted to scream and just run out of my class because of the squeaking chairs and the unbearable heat and all of the people. Ahh it was horrible. Thinking about it makes me sick. Anyways, as I said I’ve made a mistake, and whatever it is in my brain won’t let it go. I can rationalize and be logical and realize it’s (probably) not a big deal. My life path is probably irrelevant to that one choice. But what if it’s not. What if this one choice leads to another little choice that’s not good and it just snowballs until I shoot myself in the face, or jump off a cliff? I don’t know that’s not the case, no one does and they never will. If it ends up that way, I’ll never know what sent me down that path. I just wish I could change things. I want a do-over. There’s no such thing as a second chance. Everything is hauntingly permanent in this world.