Latley I’ve been thinking more and more about suicide. I hate living here. My mom doesn’t give a shit about me. All she does is yell at me for not being good enough. I’ve considered going to meet my dad, but he doesn’t know about me. I don’t want him to go his whole life thinking one thing and then one day me just show up. I don’t know what to do I just don’t want to stay here. My birthday is in a week and all I want is to leave…
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I don’t know your age, I’m thinking 18 or alot younger. If you’ve found this site your thinking of suicide at some level.
Please seek someone on the outside, a counselor, a priest, reverend, someone. Suicide at a young age isn’t a realistic solution.
Tell your mother or grandparent about your desire to meet your father, I think I have a child with an old girlfriend and had tried to locate her to no avail. My cousin had a knock on his door and there was a 17 year old son he didn’t know anything about. My cousin died in car crash a year later. I heard from others in the family that he was really joyful that he had a son.
Knowlege of a child being withheld can be a real shocker for a father.
Hang in there.
Hi Krista. Tough spot you are in right now. The most important thing for you to do is talk your feelings out with a counselor. Getting it out will help you hear and process your thoughts. We often believe things will only turn out bad, but a little help can go a long way. If your Mom talks/treats to you harshly its because she is messed up inside and never got help for whatever demons she carries around. Unfortunately she takes it out on you. If you know who your Dad is send him a letter with your picture, explain to him why you think he is your dad and that you aren’t looking for money just want him to know you exist. Leave your contact info. Not sure where you live or your age but child services may be able to get you counseling and place you with a relative or group home until you graduate. First though, talk with your school counselor…not enough teens do. Be brave Krista, you are important.