chaos

so im 19 years old and im depressed…i’ve been depressed before to the point where i did almost commit suicide but right as was about to pull the trigger and i just couldnt.I just wanted it to end, then my parents found out and i ended up going to the hospital on 2 separate occasions at the time i was cutting,burning,and choking myself  a year has past since all that and now im feeling the same way as i did before i just hate life and hate this world the only thing i can trust are my dogs,im lonely and heart broken but i belive in the 60’s revolution of peace and love and thats all im looking for… if i cant then i got a bullet with my name on it