I had a dream last night

Ever have one of those dreams? The ones where you’re just completely happy and you never want to leave? Last night I had a dream, I fell inlove… I was just happy. Happy to be in his arms, happy to spend forever with him. He was perfect, Norse, strong, tall, long blonde hair, punk. We were laying in a barn at night time, and my parents saw a demon in the window and forced me to leave. I was crying in the dream, why are things so unfair? I loved him.
I woke up feeling like shit. I woke up lonely. When I’m awake I have. Nothing. I’m alone. There’s no one to say good morning to. There’s no adventures to share Anymore. I want to love and be loved in return.
I gave it up. I was being mistreated, but he made me laugh. He taught me about life. Taught me about myself. Instead of trying to fix things after he cheated, I ran away. Found a guy who was nice.
I’m so alone, no one makes me happy anymore. I’m so depressed. I just want to slit my wrists, and listen to my favorite music as I fade into the end. People say death isn’t the answer. That I won’t be able to feel anything once I’m dead. They don’t realize I could careless. I’m not looking for relief, I’m looking for the end. I’m not looking for the answer. I’m looking for the game over option. If this is life I’d like to opt out now.
Before he stopped contact with me, he said “ok you want to die. Why not wait it out just to see what happens, that’s how I met you.” life still hasn’t gotten any better.