Was a few days ago..don’t remember which day..doesn’t matter. Was one of my worser “depressed” days…broke a razor. But instead of the usual slit across the wrist,i followed down,across and into the vein. Let myself bleed out…then i’d cover it..bleed out..cover..then i just..let it bleed. Got to the point in which i almost could not turn back. but then..well i dont know..i decided not to leave this world yet. I told everyone who knew..that it was because i was thinking of them..but now that i think back again..i dont think that was the case…i dont even know..but i cut off the bleeding and..here i am now. Part of me says” Good job.” But then the other part says.”You..Damn..Coward.” More shit has gone on..and im thinking the next time i use that razor..i wont stop it..it will be deeper..unless..well..i dont know. I cant talk with anyone..my GF gets upset..and kinda..just..leaves? I dont know..but thats okay..she has enough to deal with. Parents? That would equal a fuckin psyc ward. Friends? What fuckin friends..they always let me down..i guess my last..hope? would be this blog. but then again..its all words..and you people dont really mean or care about what id say so you? Thats what i was shown in life by everyone i met..im posting this only because its..something to let it all out..but it isnt enough..and that razor is only getting closer..
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Hey I was there too. If you ever feel alone, no matter what time you can text me whenever you want to talk. 651-558-7042. I’ll listen.
Heh..funny..i have no cell. Noone called me,noone txted me..i figured i didnt need it. When i feel alone? ..im always feeling alone..i dont know what to do anyone anymore.
dont know what to do anymore*
Khrian if you want you can email me.
Let me know.
None of us will ever replace someone offline who supports you and has your back.
But talking is a start isnt it.
Maybe you can meet someone here who does listen and understands.
We are people who have similar perspectives but different than a lot of others. Kind of like a de facto community.
I feel lonely too and have no one to turn to though I wish I did, everyone is too busy with their lives. pooha.bp@gmail.com, that’s my email if you ever get lonely, give me a chance.
Email me too. UN and I will help you out.
Last year I was feeling exactly like you. Pretty much “fuck life fuck school fuck my so called friends.”
A week later I was so close to just shooting myself ending it all. It was around thanksgiving and I didn’t want to ruin it for my family so I decided to wait till after. Two days into the holiday, my best friend shot himself with his dads gun. Everyone at school cried and not cause they felt obliged. They actually meant it. From that moment on I’ve never thought about killing myself just because of the way it affected everyone.
..Its hard to think that way..it really is..i know what it would prob do to the few people i know..but..theyd get over it..so.it doesnt..affect me.
Khrian~
Im sure all of us here, at some point in our
lives, has tried to kill ourselfs. Im no different.
Actually, I Did Die, for 2 minutes. Its an amazing
story, I plan to share on this site. But for now…
I can tell you, Life is So Short, you might as well
live it and make the best of it.
Khrian,
I gather youre very young. Should you decide to try living for a while, here are a few things to help you along.
1-Dont expect others to make you happy, thats your
job.
2-Stop thinking about your feelings and Do
something to help someone else. This will make you
feel better. No one wants to be around someone who
is depressing.
3-Learn to be thankful for what you have.
If you have no sight, be thankful you have your hearing…
If you have no feet and cannot walk, be thankful you
have hands to feed yourself.
4-Think Positive!! The glass IS half full!!
I’m 19. Wether thats very young or not i guess is for others to decide…i dont expect others to make me happy because i know they won’t. I just want..need someone to just talk to because i dont have that. As i described up there ^. To stop thinking about the shit feelings i have is like telling me not to breathe..its apart of who i am..as for three and four,im trying it jus isnt working..
Email me joshbaty777@gmail.com
gouki99x@gmail.com