i don’t know what i am going to say. every time i posted my feeling somewhere, people started judging me.
my story started last year where i realized how wrong i was for loving a married man. I know before you start judging me, i know that i am wrong and i shouldn’t be doing this. I tried, i tried to do everything but the very sight of him give me chills and i can’t stay away. But that is not what make me to kill myself. He treats me like i am just another piece of junk, never cares and nothing else. But why the hell i can’t leave him? i don’t know.
second reason, i just found out that i have clinical depression and haven’t told anybody because my family is in already too much stress. I don’t want to bother them. This makes me even more suicidal.
Life just does not make sense any more to me. I want to be alone and go away someplace from where i can never return and no one can find me.
The only reason i haven’t killed myself is because i know how devastated my family will be because they love me more than anything in this world. But i cannot continue like this.
What to do? Should i just keep on living the way i already do? Searching web every night for some help?
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4 comments
It’s noble of you to want to protect your family from this stress, but you definately need to talk to someone and the web is a confusing place to seek answers. Are you talking to a proffessional about your clinical depression?
no i did not any professional help yet. i tried it once but it did not help.
doctors are too selfish and they just want to make money. so yea…
All doctors are different. I will give you an amazing example:
3 months ago my uncle was diagnosed with a very agressive brain tumour. the doctors in his home town gave him 3 months to live, told us the tumour was unoperable and the er was nothing was could do.
got an consultation with the world class neorosurgeon, Charlie Teo (look him up).
teo performed surgery yesterday. removed almost all of the tumour that was suposedly ‘unoperable’
uncle is now almost back to normal. Considering that for a time he was a vegatable, unable to talk, walk or have facial expressions. now he is pretty much back to normal.
not all doctors are selfish and there is nothing to be lost by gettting a second or third opnion.
thanks for your suggestion.
this is the only place where no one has judged me. So thanks.