I’m slowly losing my mind, and I don’t even know why.
Watching you slipping is taking its toll on me. I thought I was regaining stability, regaining the will to live; but last night I realized that I’m slipping again. I haven’t cut/burned myself in a while–I don’t know how long it’s been because I was never one to keep track of those sorts of things–but lately I’ve had the urge to go back–because I can’t stand to watch you do this to yourself–
Stop it, stop the drug abuse, stop the self-starvation, stop the all-nighters, just stop it–I wish you understood how much it all hurts me to see you lose your mind…I wish you understood how much I care about you…
But every time I see you, I can’t seem to express it. Instead I say things that hurt you more because I’m trying so hard to hold back my true feelings. I intend to wrap my arms around you one more time before I leave for winter break, because my biggest fear is that I’ll return in January to hear that you’ve passed on.