And want to die. All my life i felt like an alien. I saw people of my age laugh, play, enjoy the life but despite being very smart (in math, computers, many technical subjects) i am depressed all the time. I am doing everything alone. I have wanted to have friends, but could not find people who have the same set of interests as mine. Being an extreme introvert is not useful in a world where extroversion and socializtion is dominant. I wish i was not born. Every night i pray to God to die in my sleep but of course this will not happen at my age(20). Then i want to kill myself but am afraid of botching up and being a cripple or vegetable. I am living alone far from family and feeling so lonely now, crying to death. Don’t know what to do.
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Isn’t there someone close to you who can help you meet like-minded people?
If you’re at school, maybe some councellor or something? What about your family? Are you in contact with them and do they know that you’re lonely?
….i am a fellow “aspie”….first and foremost….don’t expect norms to understand…..they just can’t…..i am 50 years old…..been at this quite some time now….my 15 year old daughter also has aspergers as well….
i just finished reading an awesome book….it’s called Parallel Play – Growing Up With Undiagnosed Asperger’s…and the author’s name is Tim Page….this guy didn’t even get diagnosed until he was 45 years old….his mother was a bit of a pack rat and most of his childhood had been saved…..i laughed….i cried….but mostly i laughed…i remembered my childhood…but from a different perspective….i relived moments in my daughter’s life…like when it took her until she was 10 to learn how to swing on a swing…she’s a good sport tho….
since we are all perfect as we are…..what are you good at….what fires you up….myself i’m more the music, poetry, reading type…..the problem i found is that we expect more from ourselves than any one else does….
Peace
http://www.wrongplanet.net/
http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php
I know people who like it in here.
You need to focus in your interests and forget this crappy society, which is a living hell for Aspies.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum23.html
i also have asburgers syndrome, i hate it its not my only problem and not the worst but AS alone is enougth to make me feel suicidal, my whole life peple have had a problem including me and talking to me because i am a bit quiet, thay avoid me and avoid talking to me like i have a desiese, yes thay will say hi or if i spend a hour thinking of something to say to someone it gets a two word answer at best, then turn thire back on me and go and chat to someone thay see as normal, i thort this would stop when i left school it is worse now than ever in my job, i may as well be dead and a ghost because i feel i am invisible as no one hardly shows any real intrest in comunicating with me, i wish thay knew how much thay hurt me but thay will never know what its like to try so hard to speak and be left out, i can not offer much advise but to try your best to copy others and never tell anyone you have asburgers syndrome and hopefully thay will just see you as quiet if not you will be hated and talk down to and treated like a wirdo for no reason, but remember it is not you it is them, all the best – gino .r
Gino,
I have this condition too and I want to die, but I also want to keep going and not follow in my father’s footsteps. I am a Christian and I love Jesus, but I still suffer from intense loneliness and a desire for a woman to love, but it never happens and now i am 42 yeqrs old. I also don’t know what to do anymore.
I guess if it was possible we could shake hands now. My story’s very similar to yours.