I spent a lifespan with no cellmate

Life seems unfair at times.   As I lay here in my bed typing this, the very presence of loneliness haunts me.  I can even characterize it as the open air in my bedroom and I just keep breathing it in, feeling even more helpless as every second passes by.  I speak to myself at time just to hear a voice, silence often begins to feel too heavy to bare at times.  When I go out, I feel like loneliness eminates from my being, sort of like a horrible smell.  Nobody likes that, so they stay away from me.  I have been going to a gym for a year now and have made 0 friends.   It hurts for me to say this, but I pay someone to workout with me so I don’t feel so fucking lonely.  The sad thing about it is he can’t even stand to be around me, at least thats what I get from his body language and our conversation.   There is a song with some lyrics that go “I’ve spent a lifespan with no cellmate”, that’s exactly how I feel.  Stuck, locked in a room, with nobody.  I am positive that is how the rest of my life is going to be and to be honest, I really don’t want to put up with that.  I am 23 years old. If I am in the same position by my late 20s as i’m in now, I’m gonna kill myself.