100 units if humalog should have killed me. I don’t get it… But tonight, I’m taking the whole vial.
I’m saying this because I want it to be known and understood that I love God. I hate this world and all its evil. I hate men, and their cruelty towards women. I hate money and greed, and sin. But I love the idea of going on to be with my King.
See my previous post for my heartfelt “final words.” And if I happen to survive tonight, then I’ll (a) give up trying, and (b) post back here so people know. Not that I would think anybody cared… That’s one of the points, right? Anyway… Good luck, everyone. And God bless.
5 comments
Jessie.
If you survive then fight for a purpose. Read your previous posts and you seem to have a glimmer of hope left.
If not then I wish you peace in your ending.
Number 1. If you’re a believer in god, you wouldn’t try to kill yourself. You would be looking to your god for guidence. Number two, if you vomit suicide you go to hell. If you love god do much why haven’t you cracked open the bible? I’m a pagan and I’m sure I know more then you. Christian today say we live in a fallen word. Well I’m sure god isn’t looking for sissys who cop out. I’m sure he wants warriors who fight and go to him for guidence. That’s just the contridictions I noticed in your post. Next this is my opinion. Suicide isn’t going to make things better. It’s going to make everyone who knows you miserable and if your god is real it’ll make you miserable too, because you’d be in hell. Next, suicide is th most selfish thing you can do. I’ve tried to commit suicide 4 times in one year. And was baker acted. I have absolutely no reason to live. Yet I keep going because at least feeling depression is feeling something. I’d rather die an honarable death. Instead of being known as a coward. Maybe that’s just a Norse pagan thing. Maybe I’ve helped you. If you need to talk. I’m here
Jessie,
To end things in one’s own fashion is neither cowardly, selfish, nor does it make you a sissy.
To add I’m not religious but if you are in fact Christian, remember that all that is written about god is man’s interpretation of what god is and does.
Do you really think a being who is theorized to be able to create anything by a force of will would really be as petty as to share the same harsh judgements as we humans put on each other.
Truth is if any gods exist no human knows what or ow they really are.
Unless that human has an actual personal connection and then all they need do is look into their heart.
Not the biased books written that are half lies.
Like everything else we believe is tainted by our own human purpose.
Ummmm your telling me leaving the people who need you is t selfish?
Certainly less selfish than the “people who need” him wanting him live when he does not.