i know its bad but I’ve started cutting again… and i don’t get it becuz these past few days I’ve been happy. so why am i cutting again? this makes no sense to me….
aslo i know I’m only 14.. and this may sound pretty depurate or pathetic but i don’t care… i want someone to look forward to seeing me everyday and hugging me everyday.. i want someone to really love me like how “true love” is in the movies…. but i have a feeling i’ll be waiting a while..
also i still feel like somethings missing inside of me.. I’m still empty..
i don’t get any of this…
-Morgan…rawrimaturtle.
40 comments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H86730HjLVA&ob=av3e
This doesnt happen often… And you will find many blows along the way.
As for cutting… it is also habit forming. Like when I was doing drugs… I started doing them even when I was happy, not just looking for an escape.
Yah… Some ppl have said that once you start it’s hard to stop…
Hi
Did you get my email?
@ duke
yes i did 🙂 thank you
Hi, I am 13 and I wanted that so badly. I found love. Actually. So believe it will come when you wait. Just keep looking. Although. Fairytales don’t exsist. I am going to leave it at that.
@ dreamsfade
yah..
@ dreamsfade I have read some of your posts and theres no way I would have thought you were 13.
@ Morgan you posted your email address as you needed to speak to someone.I’m probably not the most experienced person to advise you on how you feel. I think you should speak to a doctor. I just wanted you to know that there are people in thiswoeld that care. I was at work when I emailed you and the thought came to me because of the conversation we had. There are some things I would like to say and they are as follows:
1) you have nothing to be ashamed of. I know two girls who self harm albeit for different reqsons. No doubt you will find girls on here who do it and you should probably discuss it with them.
2) the two girls I know don’t do it anymore. I have never really asked them about it so can’t tell you more as it’s a sensitive topic.
W
3) what you are going through is common so you are not alone.
4) there is no doubt that you will overcome this.
@duke
i put my emails out there for reasons i can’t explain, and why do u keep bringing it up?
Morgan,
As dreamsfade explained , the movie love does not exist.
It is a fantasy ideal concocted to draw us deeper into the film by giving us something that is more than we will ever experience.
However you can have someone who can respect, honor, communicate with, cherish, support, be loyal to, be affectionate with, be kind and generous, and treat you very well.
This person will have their own set of problems and may inadvertently hurt you, but they will truly be sorry and work to make amends for what they have done and try to keep your bond strong.
Sometimes it takes time because a lot of people are not able or do not want to dedicate such effort into another person. But it is out there and it does happen.
And it does not necessarily have to come in the form of a romantic relationship, it can be just a friend who will do this for you.
Just make sure you are ready to receive it when it comes.
@u.n. owen
thank you
@Duke Of Marmalde, yeah, hard to believe right.
Morgan, take it from me. I don’t think you need to see a doctor. I use to cut myself when I was happy too. Just a teen thing I am guessing. Don’t look for love so quickly. Wow, it is amazing how much you remind me of myself last year. Cutting, love sick. Shocking. If I were you, which I once was, I would stop to watch the clouds.
Play the feild. You’re a 14 year old teenage girl. Like seriously. Love hasn’t even crossed the minds of most guys in what Middle School? Or High School. I don’t know, but I can assure you they are not thinking about that. Just wait for a little while.
You don’t have to listen to me. It is a suggestion, but I am sure, for right now, you will be better without a guy. I love my boyfriend and all, but even the most in love people are lonely.
@dreamsfade
trust me, love has crossed everyones mind at my school. either everyone likes someone or is dating them…
Yeah i said doctor but I also said I was not an expert. I just really want you to be ok. maybe I’m a late bloomer but girlswere not my top priority when I was 14.
U N Owen is right about friendship. Us it as a platform. It’s uncomplicated and comforting. Join clubs and take up hobbies where you can meet new people with a common interest.
Ps why on earth have you named yourself after the united nations. If you intend to ask me about my name I like marmalade sandwiches as does paddington bear. My favourite bear.
@duke
i changed my name to rawrimaturtle. becuz for one i LOVE turtles and even tho there slow and tiny. they can be strong. so thats why theres the “rawr”
Morgan,
Haha that is just my insight on your situation. You really don’t have to listen to me. Most likely you won’t, but I am just telling you. A relationship won’t make you any happier, but its your life. See you on the flip side.
Hey
You are not alone ok. You are perfectly normal and don’t worry. You seem to have gotten into a habit of releasing stress. When I get upset I take it out on myself and I can’t stop even when I have nothing to be upset about. I dont know what others have to say but if you cannot overcome it yourself, perhaps you might want to seek help. Even I need help sometimes.
I like turtles too. It’s a cool name. But penguins are my favourite.
@duke
I’m sorry I’ve just had a bad end of the day….
and penguins dare pretty cool too
are*
@rawrimauturtle, don’t this to offense or anything. But love isn’t even in your vocabulary yet. Its not in mine either. Like. A word we should be quite familiar with. You are older than me, but I think you should take my point of view seriously. Especially if you end up falling to hard, then where would you be. Not any happier. I am not helping. Sorry. But We all need a dose of reality.
rawrimaturtle**
When I went to sri Lanka I visited the turtle hatchery. They had the rare albino turtle and I don’t know if you’ve ever held a turtle egg but it’s the weirdest thing. I almost thought I had broken it but they are strong and flexible. These creatures walked the earth millions of years before us so should be respected.
@dreamsfade
yah that kinda hurt… but i have been hurt before
@duke
😀
@rawrimaturtle, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I am kinda being insenstive. Morgan. Just go by YOUR heart. Don’t listen to me rant. I just think you have plenty of years to fall in love. Just “see” someone. Look over your options. Instead of being committed and end up falling to hard, and getting hurt.
turtles aren’t all tiny, I think most sea turtles are actually pretty big. I always thought it would be cool to go diving with those green sea turtles if I ever go to Hawaii. Not that I will ever go to Hawaii but it would still be cool lol
@dreamsfade
no its alright, you have a point…
Hey
Dreamsfade I can write, all I need is inspiration and it might even be from a 13 year old girl who has experienced things that are compelling, more so than most ‘adults’
@duke
true true and same
@rawrimaturtle, I just don’t want you to get hurt thats all. Even though I don’t know you I wouldn’t like to see you hurting yourself over someone.
@Duke of Marmalade, alright. Sounds like a plan, haha.
@dreamsfade
I’ve been hurt before… lots
There is a lady on here called Amakua who I am certain would contribute. When we have enough I will prepare what lawyers like me call an opening note or case summary where I show you where I’m going. it could be fun and creative. Something no one in the world has ever done before.
@ rawrimaturtle I don’t keep bringing it up. I know you just wanted to find people who understood. I just didn’t know whether you thought it was strange that I actually did even though I wasn’t going to. I just sort of feel upset that you are going through these problems (I didn’t cry or anything) and I think someone out there has a duty to do something about it because your too young to deal with it on your own.
It’s late and I’m going to sleep 2am here)
Think about what I said. It will be too late when my book has received the critical acclaim beffiting of a masterpiece created by me.
@duke
thank you still. and yes i know i can’t deal with this on my own.. its to hard..
oh and goodnight
I briefly cut myself at that age. Back then it was not talked about or publicized. I mever heard of anyone doing it. I did not even know what i was doing. When i got stressed i broke my own stuff and i used a wire hanger to cut myself. I remember i got in trouble and was accused of fighting at school. I was hiding the scratches which were on my arms with long sleeves but i fell asleep and moves my sleeves in my sleep and o woke up to yelling. Yrs. Later i saw girls who cut themselves being interviewed on Oprah. I feel the same way you do all the time. People who get help when they are young have a better chance of stabilizing. I did not realize how i felt until 30. I was busy spending too much money, losing jobs and not knowing why. I pretty much preoccupied myself with the wrong crowd or buying stuff to try to make myself feel better and then i ended up in a hospital at 29 so i had to think about it. I wish i thought about it much younger. I dont even know how i still exist.
@jes
im glad your at least thinking about it know. and back then was different. depression wasn’t as common as it is now a days.. kinda sad how the number is increasing.