…………part 1………………
i wake up to the sound of my phone vibrating. i crawl out of my nice warm bed built for two, tho sadly only one fills it every night.
i stare at my phone wonder who the hell would wake me up 1 hour before my alarm.
‘Good Morning Turtle <3’ i read. oh well its from johnny. so i’ll let it slide.
i text back ‘good morning nerd =P’ then go eat some breakfast.
i walked into the kitchen finding my favourite serial already on the table. but I’m home alone for a month, becuz my adoptive parents are on a little holliday.
i look around kinda freaking out bit.
“hery turtle” someone says behind me making me jump
“oh shit john, you scared me” i say trying to catch my breath
“aww I’m sorry turtle.” he says apologetically.
“its ok, how can i stay mad at you anyways?” i ask then eat my breakfast.
“well we’d better go so we’re not late” he points out as he looks at the clock reading 8:15
“‘right, oh and why are you in my house anyways” i ask
“oh no reason” he laughs
“oh come one, you can’t just be in my house at like 6:00 in the morning for no reason” i look at him
“5:30 actually” he corrects me then heads out the door.
me and john have been dating for 2 months, and before that we were the best of friends. the reason he calls me turtle is becuz i absolutely love turtles and I’m really lazy like one. i call him nerd, well becuz he is one. he is way to smart for me. sometimes when he texts me and says long words i have to go and grab my dictionary just to look it up so i don’t seem stupid when i have to ask him what it means.
i get in the car and watch his hand move as he puts it in reverse and back out of the drive way. then my eyes move up slowly to meet his eyes.
“have a good sleep?” he asks
“oh yah” i say as i snap out of my daydreams
“your lying.” he says seriously
“no, why would you say that?”i ask
“i can see it in your eyes, you had a bad sleep” he points out.
“ok yah i didn’t have the best sleep.”i agree
“another nightmare?” he asks
“yah..” i reply.
“want to talk abut it?” he asks kindly
“id rather not, its just the same thing basically.” i say
“so about your father coming back?” i says
“yah basically” i reply then look out the window.
my father, he’s the head of the ES (evil supernatural) Â he’s almost one of the powerfulest wizards in the world. to so I’ve heard. and I’m his only daughter. he abandoned me when i was 5 to go “rule the world” and never came back till. but when word got out that i got into a decent magic family. he wanted to see me, see how i was doing.. Â and since most people know he abused me with his power’s when i was little. they won’t let him anywhere near me. and I’m glad for that. because the last time i saw him he was trying to kill me. but some how my power wouldn’t let him touch me after i had a bloody nose and broken leg and was soaking wet becuz he tried to drowned me. thats the moment he was slammed into the wall and when he came after me again to finish what he started he couldn’t touch me. so he left.
john’s mom found me. john and his family are magical too. and i lived in a few muggle family’s homes, but they didn’t seem to like me. so finally john’s family found a decent magical family to look after me. from that day on my father has been trying to come and see me.
i notice john looking at me. “done day dreaming yet” he laughs thats when i notice we are parked in the school parking lot
“how long have we been here?” i ask
“about 10mins, I’ve been trying to get your attention, you i guess you’ve been deep in thought” he smiles
“aw I’m sorry. I’m going to make use late for class” i point out
“no worries, if we hurry we will make it on time” he says as he starts to walk
“john have you forgotten something?” i laugh
“no, i don’t think so.” he says as he starts looking through his bag. i take my finger and with a flick his favourite pencil comes my way
“aww come one i need that” he smiles
“you have to come get it.” i say as i grip it tight so he can’t use magic to take it away from me. Â he starts walking in my direction. i use a levitation spell to make it go higher then my head, tho i know john can get it easily becuz he’s way taller than me. he reaches his hand up to get it and brings it down,
i took at him for a second then kiss him lovingly on the lips
“see you in 2nd period” i say then disappear.
………
thats all i have, i hope you liked it. i know its not good. but i’ll improve one day. i hope
-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle!
20 comments
This is really great, morgan, especially the arrangement of memories into daydreams about special powers. And then at the end when you think they’re just daydreams, out comes the pencil like a twist.
Super good job. 🙂
I agree with causeway. I really liked this Morgan. And not just because it reminded me of Harry Potter. :] I hope you finish it, I’d like to read the rest of the story.
Good imagination.
Once I was in a cafe and I saw this girl I liked. She walked in and sat at the table in front of me. So I pretended to be writing a novel and I read out loud ‘she gently pulled out the chair next to him and sat down, moved the glass closer to her to her lips and waited in anticipation but unbeknown to her fate had brought them together’ or something along those line which made her smile. She had a boyfriend though 🙁
Duke
I swear I love reading ur comments
Hey Morgan,
How old is John? And how much of this is poetic licence? I see your story in there….oh yes I do….so how much is real and how much is wishful thinking? Sorry….just being a wet rag…I know…but e-mail about my questions if you would.
Love Ya
Amakua
Amakua
I’d love to email u. But I’m having troubles with it right now.. So I’ll answe what I can. John is 15. And wishful thinking and reality. Well John is some what based on someone I know. But most of it is not real whatsoever
Hello Miss Taylor,
And how are you this fine spring evening? Jay quipped that he figured we’d finally get winter ohhhh around May some time….almost choked on my tea. He really has to stop doing that to me. If I die of asphyxiation….please let them know it was really a homicide….lmao. So hows tricks? What did you do today?
Amakua
Hey lady Amakua. lol, fine spring evening. Wasn’t as springy today, but still warmer than usual. Haha, in May there’ll probably be a heat wave of epic proportions. Ah, today I just did some household things, basically nothing as per usual. How about you? How’re things across the great ponds?
hmm yea a bit of Harry Potter to it. Nothing wrong with that though. Most fantasy stories borrow quite a bit from other stories. It was a bit odd lol the time line is a bit hard to follow. You get woken up an hour before your alarm was going to go off yet somehow by the time you walk to the kitchen you are going to be late? He points at the clock reading 8:15 then you ask him why he is in your house at 6am, which he corrects you as being 5:30 am. Yet somehow you guys are still late 🙂
Wasn’t that Christopher Paolini that wrote the Eragon series like 15 when he wrote the first book? So you are never to young to become a famous author 🙂
I also hope you finish it, but you should get someone to proof read it and do some editing for you, fix the spelling etc. Maybe Taylor would do that for you 🙂
Whatamidoinghere
Yes the time line is hard to follow I noticed that to. I need to do some editing. Lol and yah thanks. 🙂
Keep writing I want to know what happens next
Hey Darlin’
Well I’ve just been busier than a one-armed paper hanger…lol…oh yeah….I only have one arm that works…I keep forgetting. I started my day at 5 a.m. to take my oldest daughter into work…not safe for her to walk at that time of day…and she refuses to learn how to drive…lol…I am assuming of course that you drive? Then I visited my friend’s widow….and cleaned her house….and fixed her watch….and hugged her much…and smoked too much…got home at 5 pm…Jana had 3 friends over….they brought food so I don’t really care…..but….chiro appt at 6 pm….went to visit Jay and took him a Timmy’s….loaded my credit card…..ummm….and I have just come to find out that I have officially been invaded….apparently they are all staying the night as well….lol….but they shared their cupcakes…sooooo….I am currently hiding in my ivory tower….third floor….separate from the rest of the house….sooooo many stairs…but worth every one…lol…a garret really….if it just had heat….brrrr…this is too damp for me this year…..but I’m rich right?…lol…so i run a portable heater when I can’t stand the cold anylonger…lol….and I’m about to kill some zombies…special night on my site….and I might check back in here later. Oh yeah and it is painted ivory….hence my ivory tower. Weird question? Do you know anything about personology? I know….weird. Man…now I’m tired.
Sorry to jack your post Morgan
Talk to you guys later?….hmmmm?
Amakua
Nice work! You have a budding talent, keep practicing, could be the start of something special!
I have a few things to think about:
‘i crawl out of my nice warm bed built for two, tho sadly only one fills it every night.’
I loved this line. It was a very elegant and poetic way of setting up the idea that the main character is lonely. But then we find out she has a boyfriend! and he is great! And seems they have no problem in their relationship! So it’s kind of contradictory. Instead, What if Johnny is not the BF, but just a friend, and the main character is in love with him (they can get together later).
The magic theme is introduced halfway through the story, quite suddenly, so it threw me. I didn’t understand that this story was set in a ‘magical’ world, so introducing magic quite late in hte story didn’t quite gel. It’s better to set these things up at the start, so your readers know what kind of world they are buying in to, otherwise sudden mentions of magic and wands might feel contrived.
Just suggestions, keep on writing, you have a gift!
One_day
Thank you. And yes I was thinking about keeping John as just a befriend. I might change it. Lol I’ve thought of a few things I’d like to Change already 🙂 thank u
I really liked it too! I hope you will post more when you have it…
Yeah, sorry to hijack your post, Morgan. You started it ama! lol
Jesus, you had a busy busy day. I have my license, but I hardly ever drive. I’m kinda scared of that too. That’s nice of you to clean her house and such. Most people just say, ‘if there’s anything I can do, let me know’. But they don’t follow through. Thanks a lot, now I want a cupcake, but I don’t have any. haha. Is it chocolate? I was wondering why you called it your ivory tower. Now I know, thank you. Good luck killing them zombies and with all those girls (assuming they’re all girls) over your house. I know nothing of personology. Is that even a thing? Just used google and found this.. “Every face tells a story. Such a simple statement, but one that has fascinated civilization since the Egyptians. With the advanced genetic research tools available now, scientists may finally solve the riddle of why our faces show two sides. Another scientific tool, Personology, correlates these structural differences with behavior, thus revealing the key to personality.” Interesting. So why’d you ask. Better send it in an email so we don’t continue to hijack Morgan’s thread. lol.
@One_Day as far as the magic theme being introduced halfway through, I think this was only supposed to be like the first piece of a much larger story. So in that context this whole part could be considered the beginning. seems like something of a prologue or first chapter. Although I don’t see why she didn’t make the phone come to her like she did with the pencil rather then getting out of the nice warm bed to answer it. That would of course introduce the magic element a little sooner. Speaking of that pencil do people actually have favorite pencils? I always found mine pretty interchangeable. I agree with your thoughts on the boyfriend though. Most stories you read the main character starts out alone. One of the main sub plots is usually who will the main character end up with. So if she already has such a great boyfriend maybe the evil father can kidnap him and she has to rescue the boyfriend?
Whatamidoinghere
Kidnaping? Hmmm. I might have to think about that. Thank you 🙂
@whatamidoinghere i know this was only the first part of the story. But as an audience, I was a bit lost, that ‘the world’ that was being created was: normal, normal, normal, then suddenly MAGIC. I agree that if she made the phone come to her at the start, this would immediately and clearly set up the magic theme. Also, the great thing is, this would SHOW the audience the magic, rather than just having the magic theme explained. It’s always better for an audience to SEE and idea rather than being TOLD it.
That is why I liked the opening line so much. It’s a great example of being SHOWN that the protagonist is lonely, rather than being TOLD.
Anyway morgan, it’s your story and you tell it like you want, it’s god reading anyway. My commnets are just opinion, so no need to pay attention! keen to hear more.
Thank you everyone 🙂 when I write part 2 I’ll post it up 🙂