growing up I had such I hopes of what the world had in store for me, but now that I am about to turn 19 I find myself not wanting to know whats going to happen next in my life. I can’t find anything in this world worth being happy about. The only way you are truly like in this world is if your pretty. Well I am fat and ugly and ya people can try and argue and say “only whats on the inside counts” bull shit. you try telling that to a little girl who’s self asteam as been lowered so much she can’t even stand to look in the mirror. I hate my self even more for being this shallow. I just don’t even get the point to life. Everyone ends up fucking you one in the end. It’s all a compatition and guess what.. everyone fucking looses this game!
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I use to have a negative view on life too. Like nothing really matters you know “in the end type view. Never let yourself get down on how you look. Life is the only thing that matters, you’re given a life to live and never look back. There’s more things that matter than what other people think, whether your cool or smart or Good looking. The reality is that nobody is ever a movie star, nobody is ever that special. Whatever it may seem you just have to create your own view on life and make the decision to better your life and make a run for it! I have bipolar and I suffer depression, only recently have I started to Try change my outlook and it’s already looking a lot better!
Hey kiddo,
Yup, life is tough and it’s always a struggle but the quickest trick to getting better is to start achieving and as you keep achieving you start to feel more powerful and you realize it’s that power that makes you attractive and loved. Not by others but by yourself. Others will come and go but the only one we can rely on is ourselves. Start small. Organize your socks. I’m not kidding. Just do little things that you can’t deny you have accomplished. One thing done then try something a little bigger…like getting up an hour earlier and reading a book. Read biographies of other folks who have struggled to prove themselves to themselves. You’ll see that we all have the capacity to gain power. You’ll experience the wonderful “well now…I don’t have it THIS bad and check out how she/he turned out.” And this will happen fast. Don’t think NOW is FOREVER. It’s just now and if now sucks (which it will sometimes) it just means you have to put your head down and plow through until things feel better. You can do it. You’re young and obviously intelligent and you will be amazed how much you can achieve, how much power you can accumulate if you just make little steps towards having the simplest accomplishments that you can’t deny. You see, it’s all about having tangible arguments for when the night monkeys come howling. You can say, “well no, I organized my socks…I read that classic book…I wrote a song at the age of 19…I did a good thing for my crabby neighbour…so, I’d love to agree with you that I’m no good but…I have these undeniable accomplishments that I set out to do and did…so, I’m going to have to say you’re wrong.” And those thoughts will have less and less power as you get more. BUT, it’s up to you kiddo, as it is with all of us. So…to review – do something, start small and get a little bigger each time but do these JUST for yourself. Don’t even tell anyone else. I swear to you…this will help. Look, we all hurt and we all hate how we look in the mirror…but you need to prove yourself to yourself and those things will become secondary. They really do…it’s like a weird magic trick! I KNOW you can do this kiddo. When you are a little ways down this road, you’ll look back and love yourself for the unhappy girl you were and the secure woman you’ve become. Happiness is a verb, tough one. And the verb is achieve! Small things! Okay? And watch the films Angel At My Table and Muriel’s Wedding. And get the record You Were Here by Sarah Harmer. They will help. You got lots of life ahead…and the funnest most fulfilling thing is pulling stuff off…so get at it tomorrow. socks..books…and soon, the world.