Just signed up. had googled “I want to die today” and found this site. I know I won’t get the permission I ‘d like… permission to end my life. Suicide is actually only my 2nd option. If I could I’d erase all trace of my life and existence… from all records including peoples memories. I wish I didn’t exist and hadn’t been born. Wish I could just click on “delete” and be gone today. I see no way out.
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Hi Vespo,
I don’t know what is causing you to feel this way, and I very much hope you can find a way through.
I often feel like you do (or similar). I wish I could totally re-invent myself and start again. The problem I have is that I have a caring family and I would find it really hard to just up and leave and never see them again – especially my niece and nephew.
Were it not for that, I would love to do something like changing my name, moving to another city (or country) and starting again with a new identity and a clean slate.
Hi vespo. Welcome. You aren’t going to get permission to do anything with your life, that is your decision and your’s alone. You do with it what you like. You said yourself that suicide is your second option, that must mean living is your first. Surely something is keeping you here today. Whether that be fear or loved ones or hope. Sorry to say, you do exist and there’s no way you can erase yourself from anyone’s memory. Why don’t you post something about yourself on here. Like, why do you want to die?
Ho vespo – GG is right … and you don’t need our approval or permission – the choice is yours and yours alone. however many of us here are a good sounding board to bounce stuff off of and get input, ideas and solutions … and hopefully a better outlook and motivation for live and enjoy a more positive life
all the best
dawg
I feel I have no hope and cannot get a break in life. Sure – I’ve made mistakes… but I just can’t seem to get things right so full of self-incriminations and louthings.
I’m 51 and thought I’d be so much more by now. I have nothing to show for 1/2 century but debts and illness and uncertainty… I just get sick and tired of trying and waiting for results. My energy is low as is my optimism amd hope. Feel I’m always just clutching at straws to keep me going…
I could easily blame my upbringing and parents or my schooling or early church education… but I know that won’t get me anywhere. But I have tried so many different things and am just getting tired of it all. One thing I am enjoying is a book I recently bought – “How to lift depression… fast” by Human Givens Publishing. There’s also a good clip on youtube. The author is one of the first to put things in a framework I understand. I recommend the Youtube video.
Hi vespo,
What do you love? You say you have nothing to show so far in your 51 years. That can be a great thing if you take it in a positive direction! Think of what you love, and go do it! You have nothing to lose if you’ve gained nothing so far in your life. Take your frustrations or fears in another direction. Try skydiving, climb a mountain, sit near a river and soak in the scenery. If you don’t have time for all of that, there is a reason why- that reason being you are living for something! Manda_ree2@hotmail.com if you need anyone 🙂 life will go on, just let it.
Dammit why can’t i get here sooner? i tried posting the name of the publisher and name of the book and did not find the YouTube video. i can relate to your story and wish we could have talked.