Nothing

I’m nineteen years old and a music major at a University. My parents have been going through a divorce. Everything was fine until my mother’s new friends starting urging her to be more forceful about it. So she filed for a restraining order so that my dad wouldn’t be able to see my little brother. The hearing was just this Wednesday. It was fixed. My father’s lawer didn’t say anything or do anything helpful. The only people called to testify were those who were testifying against my dad. No one got to testify on his behalf. So obviously he lost the case. They flat out lied on the stand too. They said that my dad was dangerous and did all these things like yell at us and scare us. He never did any such thing! My own grandfather (mother’s father of course) flat out LIED! The thing he said he witnessed were impossible because he couldn’t have possibly been there. After the trial I went down to see my mother but when I saw those evil people who’ve been corrupting my mother all I could say was “What the fuck?” And one of them lied right to my face and said “I did not testify” She did! She did testify and it was all a bunch of bullshit! I guess I should mention that with my dad out of the picture, my mother’s friends would be able to take his job out there. Those people haven’t worked a day in there lives. They’re a bunch of hicks out in the country. My dad’s staying with a friend now and one of them said that my dad’s friend’s house wasn’t a safe place for Ryan to visit. Have I mentioned that right next door to my mom’s friend’s trailor is a pedafile? He molested his daughter. Also, I’ve been in my mother’s friend’s trailor. The place is a shit hole with mountains of crap stuffed in one of the rooms. Oh, and they haven’t have electricity and running water for I think 4 years. They have it now, but only because my dad spent hours digging a well, and setting up a power line for them. If my father’s lawyer would’ve called any one of us to the stand who were for my dad. We could’ve told them all of this. But he didn’t. And now my mom’s friends want to keep me away from her. My own mother! One of them said they’d call the cops on me if I didn’t go away. They kept telling my mom that she couldn’t talk to me. They said I didn’t know my dad. I’ve been living with him my whole life. I do know my dad. Right now he’s on his way out of state for a job that he shouldn’t be doing because he’s older now, but he needs money so that he can pay for councelling so he’ll be able to see my brother again. Where is the justice? I want my mom back, and my home. I don’t even have anywhere to go when I move out of the dorms for the summer. I want my dad to be happy like he was before this. So my dad’s gone. Mom’s gone. Can’t see my brother because he’s with my mom, so is my beloved dog. I’ve lost my home. I’m distracted from my studies so my grades are suffering. I don’t even have anyone to talk to here at the college. I don’t have many friends. More aquaintences you know. I don’t have anything anymore. No hope no home no family. I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts for years and this has been ripping me apart. And I’ve had something awful happen to me almost exactly a year ago. I can’t say it. I can’t think it. It was just awful and something that shouldn’t have to happen to any girl. What do I have? Where do I have to go to?