Weaker or stronger!

Today I’ve seen some hateful words of family members I thought would be there no matter the situation! All my life has been a struggle. The past couple of years have been an extreme roller coaster ride for me. I met my baby daddy in 2008 I got pregnant in 2009 our lives have been difficult. My family has seen everything I’ve been through. Last year my baby daddy was sentence to 18mths in prison. I was left with my son to raise on my own. I was in an abuse relation with him. But we work it out through all that. Before he went again everything was going good. But after it all went wrong while he was lock up Ive always be stress out and depresse I think of death more then I think about our son! I was seeing a counselor but it was not helping my night turn into days!!! During this time I ment someone else I tried to like him but he wasn’t just my type we were never in the right page! All my family thought he was perfect at first! Through that I wanted to make them happy! By pretending that I was happy but deep down I was dying! Months past when I just broke down and open up! He wasn’t happy with what I had to say! He physically abuse me! I was scared for my life! The next day I wanted to tell my family who this guy really was he wasn’t no prince charming if that’s the fact! I cried inside I just didn’t know how to open up to them! As the days go on it was finally done I’m tried and I can’t keep on! I told my family they were surprise! I left him. But he wasn’t going to be happy without a fight! He took everything I once own. Days past Ive been talking to my baby daddy just fine! I heard my sisters talk behind my back thus words I just can’t for get! As they talk I listen while my throat is getting a pain. The words were attacking me like a hundred knives the gossip about if I will ever get with my baby daddy I could forget about them as they say one another. She is dead to me! She is so stupid, dumb, bio polar *****!, I will disown her, kick her out of my life!, don’t need her to be apart of my family! As more as I took in I just didn’t know if it was going to make weaker or stronger! I love my baby daddy I’m scared to face the facts! Now I just wonder if dying is the easy way out! Alot of thoughts are bursting! And they just can’t hear my cry I try to fight but I just can’t!