Would anyone be willing to voice chat on skype (or any other VoIP program) or maybe even a normal phone call?
I ask this, because talking to people on this site through typing, it’s better than sitting in my room alone. Â But not a lot better. Â Hearing someone’s voice is different. Â It’s better. Â Just a casual conversation. Â If no one wants to, that’s okay.
12 comments
ahhh, i want to but i hate my voice. and im afraid ill bore you so badly.
You wouldn’t bore me. I don’t think anyone could.
oh geez but trust me i would.. ok how old are you?
I am 19
@mark I suggest youstop blurring the boundaries between Internet and reality. If you want to talk to someone you should bite the bullet and make real life friends. Internet fails to give us human connection, that’s why you need to make more effort in real life
oneday, the only reason that I can think that you would make a statement like “internet fails to give us human connection” is that you’ve never had a meaningful relationship on the internet. Either romantically, or as a best friend.
This is something I take issue with. I remember when the police came to my house in May of last year, and they were telling me how all the people on the internet are “complete bull shit” and that internet friendships or relationships are fake, and that they can never come close to a real life relationship. But they were wrong on so many levels. It is possible to develop a truly deep connection to someone without ever meeting them.
@mark I’m not saying that internet connections don’t have value. But humans are social animals and need physical interraction. I can meet my friend for coffee and see straight away by looking at their face that something is wrong. Sometimes you just need a hug. Sometimes you can say many things without words, just by a look. Humans do have a need for this interraction.
Internet connetions def have value, but at some point it’s not enough. You experienced this with Jackie, thats why you wanted to fly to go see her. She experienced the opposite – the relationship was failing to accomodate her needs, so she met a real life person instead.
It’s fine to have internet connections. But you should also balance it with human social interraction. Even if it’s just having lunch and a chat with a work colleague on a break. Personally I think it’s not good for you to continue to pursue internet relationships, because they trick you into thinking you are getting you social needs met.
Question: given a choice, would you rather an internet connection with Jackie, or a real one, where you shared a life and went on dates and cooked dinner together etc etc.
You’re making physical interaction sound mandatory from day 1. Deep relationships can be built on communication alone without physical interaction, but people will remain skeptical of it until they experience it themselves. So while yes physical interaction is extremely important, it is not absolutely mandatory to develop a deep relationship with someone.
I get the impression that you think I’d actually prefer an internet relationship to a relationship in person, and that’s not the case. I did want to go see her, even since 2009, but the fact that I was not able to see her in person did not ruin or otherwise stall our friendship. And she did not experience the opposite, she didn’t seek someone out simply because she was tired of this internet relationship she had with me. She just happened to meet him, and things went from there.
You almost certainly think that I believe internet relationships to be superior to or equal to real life relationships, and I do not think that. Of course I’d rather have a real life friendship with her. We had an internet one because she lived quite a few states away, and economical issues prevented us from meeting.
Why are you so skeptical of internet relationships? You said they do have value, but you proceed to trivialize it by implying that because there is no physical interaction, that it can’t amount to much.
Physical interraction is mandatory for mental health and happiness. People who don’t get enough social and physical interraction very often become mentally ill. I don’t disagree that Deep relationships can be formed online, but at some point, you want more. Therefore, an internet relationship alone is not going to satisfy anyone.
‘but people will remain skeptical of it until they experience it themselves. ‘
Well, I don’t think you have experienced it either. You claim to have a deep relationship with Jackie. You claim to know her better than anyone. You are wrong on all accounts. Me, a stranger on the internet who has never even talked to her online, was more successful in understanding her psychology than you were. So my point is, how do you KNOW it’s a deep relationship? It’s so easy to be misunderstood online.
No I dont think you’d choose an internet relationship over a real one. I don’t think anyone would. And that is my exact point – pursuing internet relationships is self defeating and self destructive.
She didn’t seek someone out specifically. But she met someone. And what they offered was simply a better option. Not because he is better than you. Just because he was there, and he could hold her and spend time with her in the way you can’t. Sorry, but if you hide in the internet, you will NEVER win in this scenario.
Not skeptical of internet relationships. I have many dear friends here. I am not trivialising anything. I also have flesh and blood friends. It’s about balance. And if you look at your own personal experience Mark, that is the best evidence that only pursuing internet relationships is just not very healthy.
You should go on a internet dating/networking site, and then you can talk to people online, that you can eventually meet in person. You need all different types of interraction to be a well rounded and sane person.
I have experienced a deep relationship with Jackie, and I do know her extremely well. I don’t think you were more successful in understanding her psychology.
There were many emotional moments me and her both had. We spent 3 years as close friends, a good chunk of that time was spent in almost non stop communication. And I was not hiding in the internet, I didn’t have the money to go see her. And she wasn’t capable of coming to me either.
You don’t think I was more successful than you in understanding her psychology? But you already said I was correct about points 2-4 that I made:
1. She’s not in love with you. She’s in love with Mikey. You’re going to have to accept it because there’s nothing you can do to change it.
2. The reason why she showed Mikey what you said about him was because she was scared and wanted him to know that you threatened him. The reason why she apologised to you is because she’s scared and doesn’t want to make you angry. Think about it – if she were really sorry, she wouldn’t have done it.
3. Her giving a blow job to Mikey is no accident. It’s pretty hard to ‘accidently’ give a blow job to anyone. She did it because she likes him. Also, quite frankly, she didn’t need to tell you all the sordid details. The ONLY reason I can think of why she would do that is because she’s trying really hard to blow you off. She apologizes to you because she’s scared adn doesn’t want to hurt you or make you angry.
4. Driving to the airport in the middle of the night is… well it demonstrates that you’re impulsive and unpredicatable. Maybe that’s why she’s scared.
5. She called the police on you. Do you know why people call the police? Because they have guns. Think about it – she called a man with a gun to ask you to stay away from her.
You need to understand that NO MEANS NO. If she hasn’t said the word NO, well, EVERY single one of her actions says no. You have to respect that.
You disagree with points 1 and 5. well, that is something that only Jackie can confirm or deny, and since she refuses to talk to you…. hmmm. What does that tell you?
A deep relationship is one where you understand each other on a fundamental level. In a deep relationship, a miscommunication so great as the one you experienced shouldn’t occur. Is it not possible you’re misreading the situation?
I think you might be unconsciously hiding n the internet… by limiting your connections to online ones. Isn’t it better to go hang out with someone at school or work, or even find an internet dating site, where at least you can make online friends that you have a chance to meet in person? Why limit yourself in this way?
We can voice chat. I’m 20/female/USA
Email your skype to me
ready2diewithyou@aim.com