I looked at the mirror today. Fuck, I’m hideous and ridiculously horrid to look at. I’ve cut earlier on my left arm. Seven horizontally and two vertically, overlapping the rest. They aren’t deep enough to bleed thoroughly but the scars won’t fade.
I’ve made myself uglier. Something’s wrong with me. I try to tell myself to see myself as perfectly as possible, with two legs and two arms, a head and two eyes. But I just make myself uglier. I want someone to make me feel beautiful and appreciated, but nobody does, even myself. Am I selfish and vain for wanting this?
10 comments
I don’t think you’re selfish… I think there are certain things that many of us want in life… and one of them is be recognized and valued. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for that… as long as you remember that you are beautiful. You are your own best friend… and you have the opportunity to make yourself as great as you desire. Hopefully someone will come along one day and tell you that… but don’t forget, in the meantime, just how beautiful you are.
of course not! everyone wants to feel beautiful,it’s completely normal. gotta love distant.road,I can’t follow that up anything better.:) you are beautiful. i felt really self conscious because of my own self esteem issues due to abuse,and even though everyone else told me I was wrong,I never saw beauty in myself. sometimes we’re our own toughest critics. hang in there,we’re all waiting for the right guy/girl. 🙂
I’m pretty sure we all want to have somebody make us feel beautiful and appreciated. I guess it’s part of our nature. You can’t be sure that nobody wants to appreciate you(appropriately) and make you feel beautiful. Sure they can lie and say what you want to hear, but often people know when they’re being lied to about their looks. It’s when someone is blunt and just says it out without any drama or whatever that you’ll probably feel most beautiful. I cut my own neck just a week ago, but now there’s only a scar, and it’s so thing you might not even notice it. But when there was a scab, people would look at it and ask what happened, but you the odd thing is, that after I did that and while it was obviously there, I accepted that it was wrong, that I made myself look horrid, but I also realized that when it healed and faded, I would look all the better to myself, because I had seen what one looks like to others and themselves when they do such things, and then what one looks like when that thing(whatever it may be) is gone. You notice how beautiful you are. So let your scars heal and fade enough to not be really noticeable, and then dress your most comfortably, and then look in the mirror and compare yourself to how you looked when the scars were obvious. Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself instead to a past image of yourself.
Sorry if it doesn’t make much sense lol
I’m one hundred percent sure nobody would find love in me. I’m hideous. But thanks for the reassuring, it makes me feel different. That sort of tingling in the chest, it feels good. I hope one day I’ll be able to look into the mirror without disgust or self denial.
I’m one hundred percent sure that you are a beautiful person… and I’m just as sure that you have hopes and dreams in life. Work on those hopes and dreams… Strive to succeed. When the time is right, somebody will walk into your life… At that point, you’ll be on solid ground doing something you love.
Your reply made me smile, honestly. It’s so easy to read what you wrote but doing it is so fucking hard. I’m glad that you have given me hope, but it truly depends on me if I wish to let the hope help me in life. Thank you, it’s a struggle but I take your words with stride.
I’m glad you smiled… You DESERVE to smile! Yes… It can be hard… very hard… but it’s so possible. Please keep that hope… Hope is one of your best assets in life because if you THINK you can do something, then you ABSOLUTELY CAN do it. I hope you stride forward… by leaps and bounds. 🙂
wth does one suicidal person say to another??? i just want to be heard and understood and maybe fit in somewhere
I hope that you figure your self out!!