i unfortunately survived….again

Sorry but I have to say if you really wanted to hang yourself you’d do it in a way where you can’t just decide to take the rope off your neck lol aka actually hanging where your feet are off the floor and if you change your mind there isn’t a whole lot you can do unless you have the upper body strength to pull yourself back up the rope. Don’t take that the wrong way I’m just saying I think it’s a sign that part of you doesn’t really want to die. I don’t think too many people have the will power to go through with a hanging where you can still use the floor or a table to save yourself, no matter how bad you want to die once your lungs start burning for air, survival instincts kick in and your body will fight for life. Any type of suffocation is not a good idea, no matter how badly you might think you want to die, your body will fight it. It’s not an easy way to go.

Anyways, I’m sorry you are hurting, I know that heart break creates some of the worst pain we can feel in this world. I’m also suffering from an ex girlfriend who left me like a piece of garbage after I loved her with all my heart. And it makes me think about killing myself too, but I haven’t so far.

You said it yourself, you are very sensitive to people leaving you because your dad died. Girls who lose their father or have a bad relationship with them are very vulnerable to having messed up relationships with guys, looking for the wrong types of guys and things like that. So you need to be in a really good place mentally before you try to give your heart to a guy. You might just want to work on your life and be single for a while.

Heartbreak sucks but as they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and even though you feel awful right now and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, you do have the spirit and the strength to get through this and you will be a lot stronger when you do, and whether or not it seems like it now, you probably learned something from these failed relationships you’ve had and hopefully nobody will ever do that to you again.

Why not just keep living? The breakups didn’t kill you, the suicide attempt didn’t work, you’re still here, obviously you’re meant to keep going. The pain will slowly get better, it takes a long time, I think I’ve been single almost 6 months now but if I let myself I can still sit here and think about all the ways my ex hurt me and feel my chest start to hurt again. But I try not to think about it.

Anyways sorry for rambling but I think you should just keep living.