What do I want?

I want to lose weight. 

I want to stop purging.

I want to stop eating.

I want to stop cutting.

I want to stop therapy

I want to be able to talk to people.

I want to avoid all interaction.

I want to never be noticed, ever.

I want to have friends.

I want to stop hiding.

I DON’T want anyone to know.

I want to disappear completely and completely cease to exist.

I don’t know if I want to kill myself.