I have failed in my life. Almost 40, dead end job, antisocial, no hope of ever knowing true love, too late to make something useful of myself. Nothing left to hope for, dream about, or look forward to. Reading stories on this site makes me realize that things could be much worse, and I am thankful to have family who care about me, but I can’t help but wonder why I am here. When I read about parents who die and leave thier kids behind, or people with the power to make a positive impact in the world who pass on before their work is finished, or worst of all, children who suffer and die before they have a chance to really live, I can’t help but wonder why I have been here so long. Why does my pointless existence continue when there are so many others out there more deserving of a long life than I, being forced to face tragedy and death. I try to believe that God has a reason for everything, and that I have some greater purpose in life, but as the years pass, that seems less and less likely, and I can’t help but wonder how much longer I can allow this to go on.
A community sharing stories of depression, survival, and hope
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2 comments
If you do not know how to obtain or even identify the thing which you feel at this stage can make your life worthwhile, it does not necessarily mean that such things do not exist. It means that you lack the knowledge to see them clearly.
You answered your own question at the end.
I cannot tell you about purpose and meaning because I do not believe in either.
What I do know is people make their own.
It is not something that you have to find.
It is something you create.
And the people who enjoy life are the ones who feel life the effort is worth what they create.