I really don’t feel like typing all of this out again, so I’m just gonna copy the text I sent my friend then eplain a little maybe
” Idk if I told u what happened Thursday but I don’t really wanna talk about it anymore. And today I was actually convinced that I didn’t exsist until Nick came up to be friendly which he will never know how much that meant to me. I’ve never been closer to a breakdown. Desks would have been flipped and then I’d probly fall to my knees and scream. I couldn’t take being shy in that moment. I had to be noticed. I didn’t care by who anymore. Everyone that ever had noticed me was intentionally ignoring me. Nick is litterally the only person who would even look at me. I wanted to cry when he made me smile for a moment..”
k what I said about Thursday read my post about the field trip.
Anyways yeah. Nick made me cry. He doesn’t know that. I feel like writing him a letter about everything his little friendly smiles and comments have done for me. Today hurt more than most any day I can remember. Today I learned how it really feels to break down. Thanks to Nick, I didn’t express it and get in trouble >.< I'm not going to school tomorrow but I hope Thursday and Friday aren't so bad. But the two things to do to really kill me inside is to ignore me and to fight in front of me. And today everyone I cared about conviced me that I didn't exsist. Everyone in general.
I know Nick won't see this but I have to thank him.
Thanks for everything. I mean he's the reason I stopped wanting to take a gun to that class specifically and see thier faces as I blow my head up but now I wouldn't want to see his eyes. I know he cares..