Every morning I wake up and regret the moment my eyes open because it means that I’m still alive. My skin is electrified with the urge to cut, to relieve the pain, and although it’s not the best way, it’s a way – the only way I have now.
I’m seventeen. A few months ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety after dealing with it for the past three years. I don’t break down; I shut down.
The only reason I’m hanging on is because I can’t stand the idea of hurting the people in my life that I love.
But I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t go on like this.
I can’t.
I’m sorry.
3 comments
Same disorder as me … I had it diagnosed at 17 too (that was a very long time ago) and I know exactly what you mean when you say ‘shut down’ – sometimes I can’t even speak. I’ve been through so many ‘mental breakdowns’ I’ve lost count, currently having another lot of treatment for one. I’m tired too – but I know from experience the only person who can sort it out ultimately is myself and I don’t mean terminally. Hopefully you will find something that works for you and you’ll go on to find a path that works – helping others seems to be a good one for me.
Good luck and have a good long life
I was diagnosed with chronic depression this year. I’m sixteen. I know how you feel. But I don’t stick around because of the people here…well maybe for only 3 people but they didn’t keep me from trying to commit suicide four times.
You pretty much took the words out of my mouth…