I was having one of those moments where you decide, “this is fucking it, I’m gonna turn my life around.” Â That did not last long, but I do have one reminder of it in the form of the word “survive” tacked onto my wall. Â I feel like it should hearten me but it doesn’t; it just reminds me of how impossible that’s becoming for me. Â I don’t want to live but I’m scared of death, of the pain involved. Â The thought of getting up and going about my day tomorrow just makes me fucking sick. Â I feel so trapped and I don’t know what to do anymore. Â I just hate almost everyone in my life right now. Â Not one of them could take the time to notice that I’m fucking dying here.
4 comments
4 comments
If you feel trapped, then just leave. Hell if I know what that would mean to you, but why not?
Uh, well, I’m only 16, so if they didn’t find me I’d just starve. And I probably don’t have the guts.
Leaving doesn’t necessarily meant physically getting away.
Haven’t you noticed absolutely everyone is in prison?
Well, I mean, physically getting away in some way is most likely the best solution. I can get away mentally for a little but it’s always a temporary solution. I’ve tried getting away in a mental fashion but it doesn’t work, I just end up feeling awful again.