I’ve just turned 18, I self harm (have done for 8 years), I have depression, anxiety and numerous suicide attempts. I’ve been in a psychiatric hospital 4 times in under twelve months.
I now have to live in foster care because my parents don’t want me at home “Coming home isn’t an option anymore.” Â My friends have drifted apart and except from my one best friend, I am utterly alone.
I want to die.
But at what point do you give in completely? I am afraid of failing at taking my life. I’ve failed before and can’t go through that again. It needs to be over with, with no turning back. I cannot live like this anymore as I am so unhappy. Since being in foster care I realised what a burden I was, how much happier they’d be without me in the long run. (Don’t say otherwise, the things that have been said have proved it already)
Is now the time to give up? I’m thinking train/building. Although it’s so messy and I really don’t want an innocent bystander to be put through that.
So yeah, anyway. At what point do you decide to give in? I’m considering a final plead to be allowed home and then..Yeah.
xx
3 comments
Hello. I gave up when there was no hope left. After all life is interesting. Hard as fuck, but interesting. Quite worth living. You’ll be on your own pretty soon, am I correct? Just wait a little longer, see what happens.
Truth is you have to make a decision and not waffle. Of course if our circumstances were better and we had access to a hit man, or willing doctor we could avoid a big mess.
So here you are in your situation, and it’s pretty real stuff, I feel ya. When you have made the decision and your head, heart, and gut are in agreement that this is the direction you want to, you will. I realized the decision has to be made from a logical, place, from a place of reason, and not emotion. Cause getting emotional & thinking about how unhappy you are…etc. etc. does not assist you in making the decision and then taking whatever necessary action is required. Being suicidal is okay…150 000 people die every day, and on some level they have decided that they are done for whatever reason…it doesn’t matter. What is important is the choice. I waffled for the longest time cause I would react to my own emotional state about what might happen and it’s all fear. So, there ya go. Hope that helps you. Take care.
Hey.. I just turned 19 last month. I first tried and obviously failed when I was 14. I tried stabbing myself to death. My mom found me shortly after. Anyway i’m not gonna give you bullshit advice about carrying on.. But just ignore peeople who encourage you. Believe it or not there are some twisted people on this site who get a kick out of helping people top themselves. Xx