Feels a bit strange posting this note here.
I just need to say a few things that I cant leave in the note I’m leaving my mother.
Feel like other people are a different species (not litetrally of course Im not insane) See them talking, laughing empathising with each other.
I’m quite good at pretemding to do these things but it is exhausting to keep it up for any extended period of time.
Saw a TV ad before where this guy around my age was out playing soccer with his friends, hanging around laughing etc. but at the end of the dayhe went into his bathroom and peeled off his happy face to reveal a sad one. That made me cry a little.
Im not deluding myself. What I’m doing is selfish and weak and useless but that pretty much sums up my entire life.
Tried getting help. Was referred to ,not just a psychiatrist, but,a consultant psychiatrist. He was no help. Threw pills at me and showed me the door.
Hope somebody reads this. Ill check for a reply in about 2 hours and then, well, then we’ll see what happens
Kind Regards,
Zepplin Rules
And youll never find that girls body (just kidding about that last part lol)
SM
4 comments
It’s interesting how many people hide their despair behind a mask of fake smiles, I destroyed that mask a long time ago. I am openly miserable and haven’t pretended to be happy for years.
I only pretend for those who cannot have any effect for me and would be better off oblivious and for those that I know can offer nothing in the way of assistance … in short, nobody gets to “see” … or they get small fractions and snippets
fractal dawg
Yes we all do it at least you still have a sence of humour I hear that is the last thing to go so there is hope for you
We’ll see about that “sense of humor” when duke and Lucy get here and find no free beer 😉
hops dawg