How much longer?

I tried so hard for the past few weeks. And what? Nothing my life is as bad as it was. It’s been a year since my brother died and I still haven’t moved on. Also, I think my boyfriend is only with me because he thinks if he leaves me I will kill myself, which is sad. To be honest, I think he secretly got a crush on his female friend from childhood. So yeah, my life is just fucking great. Added to that, I feel like killing myself right here, right now.