Late last year I decided I was going to try get help for my issues. I started taking prescribed medication and I gained the courage to go see a psychiatrist again. In the past, I have had the type of psychiatrist that blamed me for everything and the type that just tried to fill me up with drugs. But this time I got one that actually helped. Sure we played video games a lot rather than just plain talking, but he never once tried to push me into anything I didn’t want to do or blamed me. I really started to feel better and even got off the medication for a few months. Then all of a sudden, he told me he couldn’t see me anymore because my problems have started to get too deep.I found it really odd and upsetting, but I trusted that he knew what he was doing and accepted it. He recommended me to another psychiatrist and I started going and hated it. She was such a homophobic ***** (mind the language). She basically blamed me for everything, called me a murderer and told me that me being bi is all because I “loathe” guys and want to get back at them all along with trying to pump me up with drugs. Eventually I stopped going and got worse to the point where I went back to my old psychiatrist and begged him to take me back. He hinted out that people didn’t want us near each other and that’s why he couldn’t. At first I thought it was certain friends of mine getting jealous (they go to extremes like that), but today I walked in on my mum and grandparents talking. If you haven’t guessed, basically I found out my grandparents convinced my mum that I had to stop seeing him and even went as far as to say I was sleeping with him o.0 (for those of you who don’t know, I can’t even hug someone without being freaked out, let along have sex). I tried arguing saying he would never make me do that and that they should know me well enough to know I wouldn’t do it willingly, yet my mum still won’t let me see him. So here I am just trying my best not to burst into tears or get a knife out or something. I just hope my will power can last.
CPC