I know that I’m thin but I want to be thinner. I want to have thighs that don’t touch and a body as light as a feather. I run because I want to burn calories. Burn off that chocolate bar I just consumed and so much more. I want 115 pounds when I am a perfectly thin perfectly healthy 130. Im angry at myself because I hate myself. I want perfection but perfection is unreal. I want to be okay when I graduate from high school this coming year and go off to college with my boyfriend and be okay knowing that Im gonna make it. I think it sucks a ton that everyday I wonder if I should step out into on coming traffic and get it over with because that would be easier than living like this. Never being good enough, or thin enough, or WHATEVER enough. I want to fucking love myself if that is even possible! And I want it to happen right now.
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Read…
http://crimethinc.com/tools/posters/beauty_subversion_back.pdf
Cheers
Thin won’t make you happy, you won’t even see how thin you are even when you get there because you become too focused on losing more and more, all the time more.
115 is a perfect size, 130 is a perfect size, 200 is a perfect size. Rather than try to change the way you look to make you feel better, think about why you feel like the only way you can feel better is by changing the way you look.
A lot of the time when people change the way they look, they’ll still feel just as horrible inside, but they’ll look different. What would be the point in putting yourself through pain and putting your health in danger just to feel no different?
If you ever want to love yourself you’ll just have to accept everything that’s good and bad about yourself, everyone has flaws, trying to hide them is an even bigger flaw. Trying to keep up appearances will just wear you down one day and you’ll hate yourself more for trying to be something you’re not.
I’m not cheesy or anything but our outside is just a shell, optimizing what’s within will be much more satisfying in the long run. If you still feel like you want to lose weight even after you like yourself, go for it.
I am sorry that you are struggling so. And I am sure it has to be soooo hard to be a young woman today – in an era where physical appearance is judged as being so important.
But you also said you are college bound. That tells me that you are smart. And a smart person would know that beauty is a very short term thing. No matter WHAT you do, you are gonna not keep the “hot bod” of a 20 year old. Time keeps going forward. Time will win that battle.
I am not saying that to depress you. I am just being real. And as a “real” person – I can PROMISE you – that you are an amazingly beautiful person to this 40+ year old man.
And NOTHING is sexier than a SMART woman who has some spunk!
Hope I helped your day. PLEASE keep hanging in there.
Your Friend,
James
GBGUY1970@yahoo.com
That was very sweet of you James<3 I am trying to love myself and my body and all the gunk that comes along with it but I know that it is always going to be hard. When I look in th mirror all I see is fat when in reality those "Fat Lumps" are just hips and so on. I know that one day I will see all the good there. One day…
You sound like a very smart and nice person RosieLeighGreen. It is indeed very difficult to be a woman now in today’s society. I hope that one day I, as well as many othe woman will stop comparing and start embracing…