I was raped by a woman it started one day when i was ten i went to the library with my mom and we separated a little while later a woman came up to me and said she was my moms friend and that my mom was at her house so she took me to her house the second we were in the door she smacked me on the ground and started kicking me i tried to fight back but she was older and stronger. She undressed me and tied me to her bed i cried and begged for her to stop but she didnt after it was over she went out of the house i managed to escape and go back to the library and i told my mom and we called the cops..
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Good job on getting your story out, nba. Remember what we said to you – you’re not going to be judged for what happened to you – but you will be judged for how you treat others. I still think that you need some counseling. Is there anyone you can talk to besides your parents that can offer you some guidance?
Not really
That must have been terrifying – sorry you had to experience the ugly side of humanity. How long ago was that?
sad dawg
When i was ten
you’re like 15 now right? (forgive me – I really don’t know) did the kidnapper/rapist ever get caught and convicted? did you get any therapy at all to help you with your trauma?
dawg
That is horrific! Did you get and therapy for it? I hope they managed to catch the *****
Yes she is in jail and i used to go to therapyoh and im 14
I’m proud of you nba, it takes a lot to share stuff like that… you’re the only one outside my immediate family that knows what I told you, why I relate a little with your expirience… Tho I feel like I trust you guys enough to share, it’s still hard to talk about.
And I’m always here to talk to. :3
Am glad to hear she got punishment for what she did! I still think you need help, people to talk to, especially with something as big and horrible as that
I went to therapy when I was little but I wouldn’t talk, I just played withthe toys. And I went recently, last year, I hated her -.- especially her laugh…
Well my parents dont want me to go long story
Well try and talk to people on here, see if it helps. I’ve noticed its helped me to deal with my problems
Wow dawg i thought you would make fun of me or sommething
Oh and this is why i always comment on violet blakes posts cause i know how she feels
agreed with DarkPhoenix … I get the impression that the therapy didn’t quite help you completely resolve the experience and finally come to terms and let it go. … perhaps we can help give you an outlet to let you get the poison of the experience out of you? I think you’ve got something bottle up that’s eating at you still.
I know there are others here that have experienced similar traumas that may be able to help you work through your feeling. I’ll do what I can, but I have no practical experience with this so if it’s only to listen and be supportive, so be it
That said, while this revelation sheds some light on your behavior on other threads – it’s not an excuse for it …
with THAT said, I would ask everyone who may have had words/issues with nba on other threads to NOT address those issues here on this or any other thread where he asks for help – leave those conversations on those other threads.
It’s a brave step to share your difficult story – we’re here to help
guard dawg
Well i wish that she woild die but before she died i wish she would have to experience the pain she caused me
that cruel heartless *****. im sorry u went through such horrible fuck at a young age. some people are just honestly sick, but none of that was your fault and does not take away who you are.
like Dwag I have no experience of this sort of thing so I’m not too sure I could help in that respect but I’m willing to listen and let you vent your anger/pain about it and support you through it. If you don’t want to do it openly on here I wuld be willing to do it privately if it’s better. We all have problems here and, whilst it may not help people, I’ve found that venting and ranting helps you get all the pain and suffering your feeling out there and makes you feel a lot better. But you have to be comfortable with doing it mate
Well she gets out in twenty years sometimes im worried she will hunt me down and kill me
Aww kinda makes me wanna share my expirience :p……. Nah I don’t think I can… -.- But yeah. You’re still you and I’m glad to have met you. I’d only seen mean and sarcastic things from you but once I started talking through email I realized you’re not a bad person. And you’re better than the way you act on here <3
Well my church helps me out alot
She gets out in 20 years? You’ll be 34 by then, and whilst you will still have the pain of what the sadistic ***** did tou you, you will have hopefully found yourself a life and in a place where you are happy. Believe me come that time the chances of her being able to find you are slim, very very slim.
My friend has a similar fear. Her cousin raped her multiple times but he was never locked away and ever night she’s scared that he’ll sneak in and kill her…. I wish I knew how to help but all I could do was let her cry it out on my shoulder…
darkpheonix is absolutely right.
True but it was horrible i cant believe people do it for fun
Holy crap i thought these lego things were space invaders to dawg
Yeah people can be heartless but then everyone has their own story…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gf1vC8ubnkY
You never know…. But I know that’s no excuse… <3
I just presumed that mine was the rocket thing you controlled
Um i dont get the video
@nba – why on earth would I “make fun” of something like this?!? there’s nothing “funny” about kidnapping and rape. there’s nothing funny about anyone’s issues – they are real and serious and painful. we’re all here to find help, support, understanding or a way out – but no one is here to make fun, belittle or judge anyone else.
serious dawg
Space invaders man. The senior citizens here must remember the Atari classics like asteroids and centipede.
Wow you guys are alot different than some of my friends i told one once and he makes fun of mme for it i could beat him up easy but he says if i do he will tell my secret to everyone
it was the song was about the sort of thing that happened to you (more what happened to me) but it’s hard to understand. But the words are easier to get without the video
Less of the senor citizens thanks I’m 22!
@NBA @Dawg like we said before nobody is here to judge or belittle we are here to help, to share stories and to possibly found our own middle ground with each oter. People come here to get away from the hatred and pain they suffer. We all have our own issues and no persons issues are bigger than an other. We are here to help and offer support to one an other
What kind of friend would do that…. I keep close friends… ones that wouldn’t betray me at the cost of my life, who knew I didn’t want help so didn’t tell even when I showed them my suicide note/plans…
@nba: r u still friends with him then?
No but this isnt the same one i lied to
I still dont get the video sorry
it’s fine… Well that’s what it’s about -.-
@nba: oh well this friend sounds A LOT like my sister; i do somethig to piss her off she will screw my life over.
Wow thanks dawg
You’re welcome
dawg
Wow i cant believe it still i thought i was going to get mocked or something
What made you think you would get mocked? We are all here to talk about our problems and feelings and to help one another
Well it sounds stupid a boy getting raped by a woman
It isn’t stupid at all mate, its horrific and disgusting but not stupid. You were only young and you were vulnerable, it was something that wasn’t your fault but you have to deal with the incredibly painful fact that somebody took advantage of you and violated you
maybe now understanding how much people here really DO care, you might find it in your heart to be kinder to them going forward. the people here on SP – old, young, black, white, foreign, domestic, straight, gay, jew, christian, muslim and atheists – have ONE thing that binds them – they CARE – no matter how you choose to define yourself, they care – because we all KNOW what it’s like to be raped, ridiculed, beat down, beat up, lied to, ripped off, screwed over and otherwise left for dead and/or left behind
The SP people are good honest caring people – all with unimaginable difficulties and everyone of them would help you FIRST before themselves. we feel like we’ve lost everything and have nothing left – but we have just enough time left to help you get to where you want to go over that hard road since we’ve already walked it many times – one more time won’t hurt.
definition dawg
I’m sorry you had to go through that, Nba. I do care about you but not when you’re all over my friend’s post with attitude. That is terrible. I have a lot of respect in you for surviving through something like this.
-Nobody
Whos the friend
i cnt relate to dhat seems a lil weird considering im a gurl. bt dhats awful 🙁
Nobody915 whos the friend
I’m a girl too but it can still happen… Like I said, I can kinda relate -.-
but yeah NBA, you thought you would be mocked partially because you mocked others on here, but when it comes down to it, we all understand that everyone has s story and we will not judge. You had no control over what happened and… No one aknowledges my comments anyways… I’m going to sleep… Goodnight…
night dawn 😉
kidnap and rape of a 10 yr old child of either sex BY either sex can cause major damage – i think everyone agrees about that as I said – everyone really wants to help you reconcile the ordeal and put it behind you so you can have a relatively normal life
repair dawg
I dont feel like i ever can have a normal life
well, i think it goes without saying a challenge has been “given’ to you. What happened to you is no different than what jerry sandusky did to the children at penn state. after a little thought – and considering your fear for your “secret” getting out in public – it occurred to me – that maybe you could “tell the truth” about what happened to you – but omit ONE detail … the actual rape – if you remove the rape from your story (the story you make public – there’s no changing that it actually happened) but the kidnap story on it’s own is harrowing, terrifying, random and violent but at the same time you acted heroically in freeing yourself and finding your way back to your family and getting the kidnapper arrested – in your amended story, you could leave out the “reason” for the kidnap, being tied to a bed (leave IN, being bound – just leave out the “bed”) and the part where you cried.
Why? leaving out those parts – kind of emasculates the story – in other words, you remove all references to “sex” and all the stigmas that kids your age attach to any mention about sex and the misinformed “fantasies” and fallacies kids/teens have about it. but more importantly, it gives you a way to “be honest” about a big hole in your life.
The “public” version of the story becomes:
“When I was ten, some woman, who I thought was a friend of my mom’s, kidnapped me tied me up in her house and beat me – it was terrifying and i was freaking scared shitless, but after a few hours the batshit crazy woman left the house and I was able get free and run to find my mom – we called the cops and the looney toon terrorist woman was arrested and convicted”
All true – and it makes people who would otherwise ONLY hear “sex”, see the horror of what you experienced. I think it has been extra hard on you to keep the WHOLE story bottled up inside you and that anger and pain makes you lash out at others because you experienced a terrifying pain and trauma they can never fully understand.
then if your ‘friend’ who threatened to expose the truth about your story, you will have already got them to focus and feel the horror and terror and they will already think of how brave you were to actually escape instead of being distracted by the whole “sex” part of the story.
Now all that said, an since I think you’ve read a lot of my other posts – i want to be sure to say – I am NOT in any way, a mental health or human behavior specialist. but it would be my general belief that if you told the new kidnap-focused story, people would jump to the conclusion that you narrowly avoided being murdered and turned into sausage patties – let them think the crazy woman could have done horrible torturous things – let the speculate as to the woman’s motives – hell you were only ten – how would you know “why” she did it.
spin doctor dawg
Dawg i have to ask what fantasies
all kids/teenagers have strange fantasies of sex and stuff that’s provocative – they’re just learning and exploring and their hormones are raging so they all have “ideas” about what’s right, wrong, exciting or disgusting about sex
if you were to remove that “aspect’ of the truth from your story – they won’t let the “sex” aspect be the shiny new thing they focus on … the real truth is – what happened to you is the farthest thing from healthy sex that could possibly happen – in fact most rape councilors won’t even consider a rape as “sex” in any way – it’s an assault – it’s violence – it’s about power and control
sex is something pleasing, sharing and healthy – what happened to you was not.
just trying to suggest a way to be able to talk about the event without people (kids) getting lost and side-tracked on an irrelevant detail
dawg
Well it doesnt seem pleasing,sharing and healthy to me idk if i will do that when i get older
I understand that – because you didn’t “have sex” – you were raped … two completely opposite things like good/evil, up/down etc.
when you recognize the two actions are NOT the same, you will find real and actual sex pleasurable with a person you love.
clarification dawg
If you say so
I say so 😉
if/when you can separate the two actions as being completely different
dawg
Okay i will try
Take a few moments to re-read what I posted above and really try to understand it. it’s really important to recognize and understand the difference
dawg
Um quick question how is it about power and control
Rape – as I’ve come to learn – is never about sexual gratification (pleasure). It’s always about the rapist having power and control over the victim.
http:// kidshealth.org/teen/safety/safebasics/rape_what_to_do.htm
Excerpt form link:
“Rape is forced and unwanted. It’s about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence — or the threat of it — to take control over another human being.”
research dawg
Exactly Dawg…and yes nba…all about power and control speaking from experience.
Rape is all about the dominance of the victim, making them feel as little and worthless as possible.
Oh sorry you have to speak from experience
What is sexual gratifacation
Yea, I’m sorry too, thanks. When sex is gratifying…in other words feels good and not scary and bad. My experience was different but the same end result.
gratifacation = enjoyment
I think you’ll agree there was no “enjoyment” in the experience – the rapist does not get enjoyment from the sex – they get “enjoyment” from the power and dominance and helplessness of the victim
I have to run – I’ll be back on this evening – stay well nba
dawg
Do you have a post about it
I deleted everything I had on here a few months ago. Someone found it and used it to tell my family about eveything. Um…but I can give you a little background… It was a guy I dated at 13 and he was 14 and rape (date rape they call it now), torture and abuse for about 3 and a half years really tore my life up. Wish someone would have helped me then or that I was strong enough to help myself.
Thats sucks why didnt you call the police. It happened on a date i guess thats why my church wants us to wait til were 16 to date
Technically it happened for years, not on a date, they just catagorized it as that because we were dating. I didn’t call the police because I didn’t know any better at the time. I was being abused and brain washed, controlled and thought he would kill me and my family so that’s why it took so long to get out of the relationship. But that same fear is there and it really made my life hell.
I feel the same way
Sorry that you have to deal with things like this, but I hope by talking to us it will help…talk to me any time…
Okay i will
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, if you ever want to talk, I’m here. I’m also 14./:
If you want to talk my email is blazersfan64@gmail
Yes, you are all correct about this.
Often when adults perpetrate on children they do it out of a need to control not a need to have sex or any kind of intimacy.
Unfortunatly our society views males, men and boys, as wanting sex so badly that they are expected to enjoy it even if it is forced upon them.
Boys who have sex with adult women are even considered heroes by their peers in film and literature.
But the truth is, it’s a traumatic experience that stays with you and requires healing as you grow up.
Good luck NBA, you are a brave soul.
God Bless
I thought you didnt believe in god
Hey is nobody915 on sp
Hey is dawg back on yet
yup – I’m here – just been resting my back and luving my mutts 🙂
recovery dawg