A Rest

I’ve been skulking and lurking in and out of the site for a few months now. So hey, a great pleasure to meet you all.

I’ve decided that today is the perfect day for the grand finale, so I’d just have to throw my piece of words to the pile.

Now that I recall, I can remember predicting this outcome years in advance, yet judged that the risk was worth the possibilities such a life would unlock. No limitation or inhibitions, breaking down and examining everything in reality to acquire ultimate knowledge.

But perhaps it was inevitable. It depends on how much credibility can a manic-depressive get for his decisions.

In the highest of ambitions and narrow walls of sadness, I have come to the conclusion that in fact none of my actions were of my own choice, though I still take responsibility for every last step.

As a  matter of fact, life is pretty good. It’s great! Though my own mind slanders me for idling, I find the state agreeable. I simply know just how miserable things will get very very soon, and I think I must act while I still have even the slightest of possibilities to end the cycles.

Others matter little now, responsibility and accountability are simple ideas created by men, they hold power  only if you allow them to. I feel tired, exhausted to no end, and knowing that I cannot be satisfied with anything less-than everything, I will do the wisest thing. I could fight this and survive, but I see little point, and I feel the need to rest from my insatiable hungers and ambitions.

As for the afterlife, that is beyond my foresight.

I do not expect understanding, but for everyone out there I will say what I learned through countless tears:

You owe no-one nothing. Do not let anyone take away or restrict your ultimate power – choice.

The world can fade away, all you need to do is will it.