I just looked, and I can get a one way ticket to LA for just $155 on Amtrak. It would take 2 days to get there, but why would I be in a rush just to get to a city where I have no where to live? But I don’t feel like I should stay here. I’m only a burden to everyone I love.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
8 comments
But I should wait until Spring, maybe. But if I’m going West, it won’t matter if it’s winter or not. I don’t know. LA seems like a bad place to be homeless, but is there really a good place?
I often think of disappearing like that to and I always end up not doing anything because of fear… Fear that when I leave to runaway somewhere new my problems will follow me and only get worse and with new problems like haveing no where to live no way to support myself…so I stay in the place and just sit and wonder what it would be like if I could disappear
That’s exactly what happens to me, too, Aperson. I wish I could be spontaneous and just go. It could be a great adventure. But it could be a disaster. And like most things in y life, I just sit, paralyzed with fear that everything will stay the same or that everything will change. Both scare me. I’m really just useless.
I think deep down we all fell like that.. Useless and scared
I feel like that. Useless and scared.
I used to think of disappearing all the time but now I’m planning on moving and people know about it. I’m planning it all out and feel its better this way b.c. I don’t wanna take my problems with me and if I’m open about it then it will all work out better. I live in Indiana and plan to move to Georgia by next august. I have a few churches to choose from when I love. I have a good friend down there that is helping me find a place to live. I have my own house here that I’m gonna rent out that is going to pay for my rent and utilities there b.c. cost of living is cheaper and I’m gonna be able to transfer with my job. Plus the best thing is I’M GONNA BE ABLE TO START OVER WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING ME OR MY PAST except that one friend but she is for me and not against me so she wouldn’t hurt me. 🙂
My advise is to plan it out even if you don’t tell everyone ur going. 🙂 Good luck! 🙂
My husband wants me to leave. But I have no where to go. He doesn’t want me to be homeless, but he doesn’t want me to stay and make him suffer. If I leave he won’t let me have access to any money, assuring that I would be homeless. He wants me to live with a “friend”, but none of my friends would have me. My so-called best friend left over a year ago and didn’t even text me when I was openly suicidal on Facebook the last time. My other friend has 3 kids and an ex-husband and girlfriend to deal with. The only other friend I have lives in a shitty neighborhood in a crappy apartment with only 1 bedroom. And he’s gay, so sharing that bedroom isn’t an option.
So, I can’t leave or he won’t let me come back. But I can’t stay because he doesn’t want to deal with me anymore. All he wants is for me to take a bunch of stupid pills and change who I am. I’m bipolar, dammit. That’s who I am. I can’t make it go away without bringing other problems in its wake. All the pills I’ve tried had crazy side effects and I am unwilling to try more. I’m also unwilling to change my diet in order to take those other pills. FUCK that. I have enough problems eating foods I like, much less having to eat foods i don’t like in order to avoid the foods the pills don’t like.
So the only option I have left is to kill myself. But I can’t. I know where to get a gun and how I’d shoot myself to ensure death. But I wanted the option to come back. Death won’t give me that and neither will my husband.
FUCK this. Just fuck it all. I wish the world would just end so I don’t have to deal with it any more. I don’t want to make any decisions ever again.
@ need 2 vent – I know how you feel. I have decided to die, after several attempts I need to go. However, in a final act of desperation I am going to go to my psych consult tomorrow and say just that, help me or I will die tonight. It has come to that, and I have tried to runaway and have the money and opportunity, but it will not help.
I want the same as you, to die, but then there is no coming back.