fucking weak .

My names katie, im thirteen. im your typical awkward, weird, and complicated girl . no one takes me seriously . im some kind of fucking stupid joke to people … according to my pierce im a “fake”, “whore”, “stupid”, “spazz” “ugly” “wannabe, etc. the list goes on. people judge me to fucking much. i try to be nice but apperently im a *****. maybe i am. ok. i am a *****. i dont mean to be.. and i fucking hate myself for that. i think my boyfriend just dumped me because “im too complicated” . i dont mean to be … i dont mean to be all these things. i dont mean to be socially awkward, i dont mean to be a dumb *****, i dont mean to be confusing… i just wanna be happy…..well. ever since i was a kid ive been fucked up. i use to molest my brothers, my neighbors, and my cousin….. i know i was molested… i just cant fucking remember. it makes me fucking sick. i cry all the time. my parents are moving me to different schools….and i dont want to go at all. ill probably kill myself before school starts. ive attempted suicide once..by trying to swallow pills. it didnt work. so i cut, ive been cutting since 5th grade… i cut a couple days ago.. my parents have noticed thank God. it seems like my parents, friends, and my therapist think im attention seeking. i cut because it gives me a release,… a high of some sort. everynight i cry so hard…you know when youre so depressed and you dont know what to do at all? you just sit there in your bed crying , screaming even..then finally youre hurting so bad you just stop crying. and wait. wait for nothing. yea. anyways.. im a hypocrite, im weak, a *****, and i fucking disgust myself honestly. idk what to fucking do.