Last night my non biological sister (best friend) tried to commit suicide. Everyone else seem to take it calmly and act like it didn’t happen, but I just couldn’t do it. I mean I know they were probably trying to do it to let her feel relaxed, but I can’t see how they can do that when others are at risk. Anyway, as you could probably tell, I wasn’t myself at all today and one of my friends (who doesn’t know I have issues) pulled me up on it and seeing as they had suffered from suicidal thoughts in the past, I told them and expected support. Instead they basically said I should act like the others and it’s for the best for it to have “never” happened. When questioned about how they would act if I did the same, they answered that they would pretend they never heard it and wouldn’t bother with a long term plan. I mean I knew I always hated myself, but I didn’t realise others hated me (and others) that much to not even try to help if I came clean. Am I really that worthless, am I an over worrier or am I only guilty of choosing the wrong “friends”?
CPC
15 comments
how did your suicidal thoughts come to be?
and trust me, you’re not worthless, unless that’s what you make yourself out to be, i’m not going to tell you that everything is okay, clearly your friends don’t understand how you are feeling otherwise they wouldn’t of told you to pretend like it never happened.
i don’t hate you and i’m willing to help you with your issues, do you have a facebook or email that i can reach you by if you’d prefer to talk more confidentially?
That’s the thing, they have all either encountered or knew someone who has had suicidal thoughts or have killed themselves (I guess that’s why I was so shocked with their reactions)
As for my story, my suicidal thoughts can be read in these two posts (mostly the second only repeats the first with more detail, so don’t bother if you don’t want to)
http://suicideproject.org/2012/06/i-cant-cope/
http://suicideproject.org/2012/07/what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger/ or the first post I posted. I really thought
Most people probably just don’t even know what to say about it, so just try to pretend it didn’t happen so they don’t have to say anything at all. Some probably really don’t care all that much and just figure its not there problem, and maybe some think she just did it for attention and so if she doesn’t get any attention out of it she will just go back to being “normal”. Then to some people just ignore that which they don’t understand, and its hard to understand what might make someone try to kill themself.
What you said makes a lot of sense, but apart from the school friend, all the others knew her and her issues, which takes out the idea of they think she’s attention seeking. And as I mentioned in a comment above, all of these friends had had experience or knew people who have dealt with suicidal thoughts, so I just was shocked about their reactions because of that.
yea I was typing my reply when you left your comment I guess, that part about the friends having first hand experience with suicide and still acting that way is kind of mind boggling. I mean that would be like if the people on here had that attitude it wouldn’t make sense.
if they cant help themselves, how can they help another
well i read both of them, and i can tell you with confidence that i will not leave you and i will try and help you in any way i can
I dunno I think sometimes it is actually easier to help someone else then it is to help yourself. Sometimes its just harder to figure out your own issues and how to solve them because you are just surrounded with your own problems. Whereas someone else might have a better perspective on how you might be messing up.
thank-you, that really means a lot to me. I just hope my friends react as well as you when and if I come out and tell them 🙂
I completely agree with everything you have said 🙂
Another thing might be that your friend that tried to kill herself might even want to pretend it didnt happen, I mean most people keep suicidal thought and feelings very private. Then all of a sudden everyone knows that not only did you want to kill yourself but you coudln’t even do it right and you failed. To me that would probably be really humiliating if I still had to face people everyday that knew that about me.
@Crazypandachick – You’re not worthless. They probably just don’t know how to react or think that ignoring the subject would be best. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s that they don’t know what they should do. They don’t understand or feel your pain, so they don’t understand or feel your reasons to commit suicide. — My pov on this.
People often believe that talking about suicide makes it happen.
They worry about reminding you of your emotional pain and making it worse for you.
They are wrong.
Suicide should be openly discussed, that’s how you get support.
That’s why all these people on SP read your posts and comment.
This is a safe space for everyone.
Peace.
Hey Crazypandachick!
I totally agree with The Guardian. Suicide is a big taboo in our silly old society. The more it’s talked about, the better for everyone. The non-suicidal get their awareness raised. The suicidal feel heard and acknowledged. A win-win for everyone.
I think your friends wish to ‘forget, and pretend it never happened’ is a manifsatation of that stigma and taboo that surrounds the whole topic.
Makes me feel like making a big banner and going out on a ‘suicide march’. A ‘listen to us’ demo. I guess these are the politics of suicide that we’re talking about here, in a way, as well as the psychology of same.
Take care, CPC. Zx
Yes, the Guardian & louise50 are absolutely correct. Your family first reaction to not talk about is knee-jerk reaction but a real bad one. Not talking about the suicide attempt only leaves your non blood sister with the demons and only her to deal with them. Leaving the suicidal person with the same demons that obviously won the last struggle between them and your sister (hence the latest suicide attempt) is a bad place to beginning the road to recovery on. They have good intentions but are going about it in the wrong way.
my advice