I should tell somebody, right?

Ive contimplated suicide since i was 14 years old but never had the balls to do anything about it. Its 16 years later and I still cant shake the fact that i do not belong here. I come from a long line of losers and drug addicts. I used drugs for 15 years and it was the only thing that worked for me. Drank alot too. By the time i reached 27 i had developed cirrhosis and decided to get clean. It was great for a while but my skin turned back to its original color and i got better. Its 3 years later now and im more depressed than ever. I just recently moved to NC hoping maybe something would change. The fact is no matter what i do or who i talk to ill never get peace. Everyone i talk to makes mke feel like an asshole for even feeling this way. “Well at least u got this or at least u got that”, i guess material things r supposed to make everything better. Doesnt work for me cuz with everything i have im still worthless. Crying while i write this cuz i dont wanna do this to my family and girlfriend but i feel like i have to. Theres no other way. Fuck this anyway i know that noone will read this but i feel better having gotten all that out @ least. I told someone. I dont believe in anything after death so this is it i guess. I just can’t pretend to be happy anymore.