So I just read all my old posts and sent them to a friend she is very supportive and I feel better. My old posts made me feel the hopelessness and a little taste of everything i was/am feeling. I realized some things. The only time i feel like im free from my depression is when i shove it deep down into myself, but eventually it overflows. i wanted this to be longer because i have a lot to say but maybe another time. the point is depression is like my scars they never fully go away. Example: I have been feeling complete and unbearable sadness for this last week, but a few months before this week i stopped cutting and i felt great. Then the ticking time bomb i set inside me burst and littered my life with old thoughts and memories.  I still haven’t for a long time but, when I started to overflow with hate, sadness, felling alone, feeling unloved, ect. …
When i started to overflow i couldn’t and can’t handle what is happening and how sadly this time it’s worse, and all the time that i haven’t been cutting it doesn’t matter it’s only a time  period. Cutting helps me so i’ve made up my mind and i guess tonight im also going to pick up old habits.
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Your stronger than that. You don’t need to go back to your old self. Staying positive is hard, but do things and talk to people you truly love and care about and in a matter of time you will start feeling better. Don’t look back on the past, consecrate on the future and stay strong, I send lots of care you way:)
thanks a ton i have been talking to this girl i have known since we were both 6 and i really do love her but im to damaged for love at the moment but she knows everything i’ve been through so she helps a lot.
I believe you are strong! You will get over this. You don’t want to go back to that.
Just a thought on something you mentioned: Maybe its not good to shove /keep things inside you incl. depression. That way it will prob. just surface again by overflowing?
Rather let negative thoughts go. Its important to draw it out and let it go. Let each day be a new day try not to think about the past or things that worry you. Write it on a piece of paper and then tear it up, vocalising that you are letting go of that thought. Reject the thought – tell that thought that it cant come back. Something like that. Be firm.
Silence all negative thoughts. Refuse to think them. Unthink them. Yet give yourself something else to think about. Find an interest – keep trying until you find something that you feel passionate about.
Concentrate only on things that you like. Don’t do or think about things you don’t like. Make a big effort of writing down things you like in all aspects and putting in a place you can read each day.
Search for an write down affirmations (Positive statements) and read them when ever you need to in the day.
Take time to meditate with a good incense, aromatherapy oil, good coloured throws and scatter pillows (Colour therapy) and chanting (Google sacred sounds on youtube eg: OM) with some relaxing music in the background.
Anything you chose that will work for you – that’s just a suggestion.
The only thing that matters is the present and the future NOT THE PAST.
Don’t punish yourself. You need to care about yourself because this is your life. Don’t be your own enemy. Don’t treat yourself like that. You need to find another outlet for your frustrations and to train your mind. Do gardening and take it out on weeds, do sport and take up jogging,
Don’t go back to something like that… Find another coping mechanism where you are not punishing yourself. ….. Get a piece of wood instead – with a hammer and some tacking nails. Hit them into the wood instead. Don’t hurt yourself. Forgive your self. You can even drive the nails through a folded paper making a statement eg I forgive myself, I forgive others – releasing pain and suffering in your life is vital.
Like a combination of things: A routine that gets you through the day because you are busy.
Lavender and rose essential oil helps and Bachs rescue remedy, herbal anxiety tablets, a cup of chamomile tea.
Mostly silencing negative thoughts and replacing them with other thoughts.
Have a read through these: Maybe they can help?
http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/18/30-things-to-start-doing-for-yourself/
and http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/