Does anyone else ever feel this way? I just don’t know how much longer I can go on. Things change so fast. I love my family and I love my daughter. There is always something to worry about, and to be honest everything would just be better without me around. Now if I were to leave, many people would be upset, I just wish I were never born. Before I was born my mother had a still born baby. If she were born, I never would have been. I know there is a reason I was born. I believe it was probably just to give birth to my daughter. I have made so many mistakes in my life and hurt lots of people. I know I’m being a bit vague. I’m just venting I suppose. Right now I’m experiencing relationship problems with my boyfriend of two years. I just don’t understand why nothing ever works out. I was abused as a child, anxious as a kid, depressed as a teenager. All of my family has problems. NOTHING ever works out for the better. The only thing keeping me going is my daughter. Please.. I know I’m selfish. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I just don’t want to be here. I would love to erase the day I was conceived. I am good for nothing.
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Yes, I feel tired of life often. Exhausted by it. by me.
I relate to a lot of what you wrote, and I also often wish I wasn’t born.
We have all made mistakes Rachel. It’s Ok. Unfortunately it’s how we learn. We don’t learn a thing when no mistakes are made, and everything goes all lovely and smooth.
Some things shouldn’t happen to ANYONE, but unfortunately it does.
I’v also had to ‘learn’ the really hard way, and it feels so unfair at times.
So fucking unfair I could have a dummy spitting tantrum! :-p
You are a good person, I feel it. You have had it hard, and that’s unfair.
Keep on going, if only for your daughter.
Would therapy help you? I always ask this, some people hate the idea, and some people do really well with it..
I used to be in therapy. I was in it for 2 years. I also used to be on anti depressants, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I came off of everything. I’ve been really considering going back on. If anything they’ll make me apathetic, but it’s better than whatever this is now.. Therapy never worked for me.
I feel like that I have since I was 13 so ur not alone :/
Yea it really sucks.. When I was 14 is when I started the anti depressants. I have made so many mistakes in my life. I just want it to hurry up. I want to skip 10 years, or just go back a few years and change a lot of things. Regrets suck.. And every time anything feels any better it always comes back with a vengeance.
Did it help back then? if it did, then you should definitely consider it – both, anti depressants and therapy – if it helps you lead a better quality life than go for it, for you, and for your family – sounds like you have nothing to lose.
I also always sabotage anything good myself, I do a lot of it to myself. Do you do the same? Or is it ALL out of your control?
Yes I do that a lot. I cause a lot of the problems that are in my life haha.. I cause a lot of arguments between be and my significant other just by overreacting. A lot of my problems come from child hood. I had so many things happen to me then, I guess now it’s just not in my nature to let anything good happen for more than a few weeks. I just kind of give up. I don’t think there’s much good out there left for me. I think some people were just born to lead lives filled with these emotions. This is kind of a cycle for me though, I start thinking things like this, make a rash decision, make things worse. I’ve done this a lot.
I do too don’t worry, it’s good you are aware of it too!
I hope you do decide to go back to therapy, a really good one, and medication too if it helps relieve some of what your feeling
rooting for you!