My near death

Last year i almost killed myself, but insteed i just cut. I choose places on my arm where i would be safe to cut so i wouldnt end up dying, even though i wanted to die so bad i made sure i didnt come near killing myself.
The reason i choose to just cut is because of my brother, i have two younger brothers one 9 the other turning 8. These boys are the ONLY thing keeping me alive, they need me the most. After my parents broke up my sister took a turn and mum became protective, i was the only fun in my brothers lifes. Last year i went through i REALLY hard time, i moved in with my dad and his new partner and i was treated like SHIT by my own father and his partner, to top it off i was bullied so badly at my school and ended up feeling so alone. I was bullied and i had no one to go to about it, my mum had enough to worry about so i didnt tell her and i felt as if my friends didnt care………. When i saw my brothers i didnt care about getting bullied at school or home and i didnt care i didnt have friends. At one starge i was kick out of my fathers house….. i was on the streets for a night then i came in conntact with my mum, she took me in but after a while my father wanted me to “come home”. I went backing hoping for change but that never happened……… My brothers held me when i cried and they listend to me when i needed to get something off my chest, even though they didnt know what i was saying they helped me. After no change at my fathers house i attempted to slice my vain (the one i can make pop out) but my brothers where in the other room, i heard the youngest one call out my name i cried so hard and dropped the knife. I was so close to killing myself but my brother reminded me that they need me, mum was out of work and had to pay for school and food and clothes. So i needed to be there alive to help her, my brothers are going to have a hard time at school so they need me alive to stand up for them, my father would blame himself so he needs me alive so he doesnt have to blame himself.
If it wasnt for my brother calling out my name that night i would not be alive, my brothers saved my life and i am for ever in their det <3