A year ago, I was the happiest married man on the planet. I didn’t think that I had a good marriage. I thought that I had an amazing marriage. My wife was the center of my life for 29 years, and I loved her (and still do) more than my own life. I knew that if everyone in the world betrayed me and let me down, she would still be there. I knew that she would never betray me, never lie to me, never cheat on me, and never leave me, and I knew that she would always love me as I loved her, then a year ago I get the “I love you but I’m not in love with you, and I’m thinking of leaving you” speech. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Didn’t see it coming at all. Then I find out that she has been unfaithful to me more than once with more than one person….this person who I had such blind and total trust in. Nonetheless, I remain totally in love with her, and still want to be married to her. I have spent the last year trying to make her happy, but she wont have it. She wants a divorce. My world is completely crushed. Almost 30 years of my life is suddenly gone, and I still don’t know why. She transformed into someone that I don’t even recognize, almost overnight it seems. I cant envision my life without this woman who was been my whole universe. It feels like half of me is gone. I sit in this house at night thinking that I’m going to just die, and wishing like Hell that I could. I sat up all night drinking Tequila with a pistol on the table in front of me. I picked it up and sat it down several times. Twice I pulled the hammer back. I made it until morning and things looked a little different in the light of day. Not good. Just different. Tonight though….. I cant stand this pain and torment anymore.
4 comments
30 years ….. dam i dont know what to say thats gona change anything or make a difference to how you are feeling , one thing i will say , sounds to me like she has had some sort of infulence from some body else , people dont just wake up one day with a
different out look on life , and change age old habbits .
any who , good luck
and remember your not alone
I have thought the same thing. After 30 years, you know someone pretty well. For someone to change so dramatically almost overnight without some outside influence…..well, I just dont see it. She has done and said so many things that are so far out of character for her that its like she is someone else now. Thanks for your comment.
Used,
I’m glad you found your way here. You should also find your way over to survivinginfidelity.org as well. You can’t have too many people willing to listen and trying to help. Go there and then click on “just found out”. Type in your story, or as much of it as you feel like telling. Hell, you just cut and paste what you put above. This is a website full of people who have stood where you are standing now. And there’s no better friend in the world than that.
Thanks Dallas. I will check that out.