when i reached out to my ex a few months ago, he told me “quit being so stupid, you’re not 15 anymore”.
i reached out to someone tonight.
someone i thought i could trust not to hurt me.
someone at work told me earlier today that we are forced to go through the same things again and again til we learn our lesson.
all i can think about is cutting deeper and deeper til i cut too deep. this image of huge gashes in my wrist is stuck in my head like a pop song.
sometimes i miss my ex so bad that it makes me not want to live, but i don’t want to die of losing him because he doesn’t deserve that power.
i so badly want to be saved, i so badly want to save myself, but i so badly want that gash in my wrist. i so badly want to see how much i can make myself bleed.
2 comments
reaching out, we inevitably fall.
all love really is, is the comfort of understanding someone who also understands you. but always people change, and understanding fades. and when we reach out for that heart to understand us again, it’s gone.
different story, similar pain.
you deserve to be understood. i am sorry it hurts.
thank you, thank you, thank you for this comment.