Hello everyone, I posted “Depressed Psycho, I guess” the other day. Mind if I keep a daily posting here for quite a bit?
Today.. I took a shower, and all I thought about was death. Macabre. And sex. I chuckle at myself for thinking of cruel things and lust, but I have no clue why. A woman has been harassing me about my religion and self esteem. I want to really kill her — but I can’t. Now, I am a precise person. I have a strength for… striving for perfection? When people excel over me, I have a deep furious anger, even if it is something simple.
For some apparent reason, I get angry when a particular person is happy every second of the day. Every. Second.
But that’s my 1 cent for today,
I want to talk about the title of this, really. I am studying art. Human anatomy. Impressionism. Ink and sketching. I practice 3 hours a day, 7 days a week. I strive for perfection more than the average person. And if someone does a hard technique easily, and they have just started, or at my age, I get angry. Art and design takes my horrid mind off of everything, and slowly, deeply, spirals into a different world. I can express my mind into throughout my hands, and out the brush, or pen, or pencil. I just have a dark feeling that I can be better than anybody in my passion. I’m not sure if this is an ego, but it gets me angry and depressed and I just want to destroy me, and everything I have worked on.
What’s wrong with me?
2 comments
There’s always going to be someone better than you. Stop worrying about other people and focus on improving yourself. It’s fine to be competitive but you don’t have to hate the other contenders to feel that way.
don’t kill no one
I think you have a gift…that you didn’t quite opened yet. Use that passion ,anger, emotion, or w.e into acheiving different goals in life. And don’t try to do stupid shit. All is up to you I guess..