My social phobias have rendered me useless for far too long. Â I will be attempting to contact my father for help tomorrow. Â I want to see a psychiatrist. As I previously mentioned I used to have a socially fruitful life. With that experience I can extract one piece of information which suggests I am not right in the head. Â I am not the same person I used to be. Â I used to be eager to meet new people; to go to work; and to pursue general social activity. Now, I am a social recluse shackled by these irritating feelings of inferiority and paranoia. Â It has gotten to the point where I can not tell if people are constantly screwing with me or I am simply imagining it. Â So as I have stated, I am going to ask for help from my father, whom I fear the most of all.
Why is it so hard to go out on a limb?  Why is asking for help nearly impossible for me  bare?  I hope all of this works out because this really is my last hope.  I have no one else willing to get me on the right track. I also fear that he may reject me. I have ignored his phone calls and invitations to meet his friends for almost 6 months.  I know he loves me and all of that garbage, but I am worried about  his relentless fiscal apprehensions when offering help to my other siblings.  I lived with my father for a short period last year, and I felt like I sucked the life out of him with my depression.  This is one reason I left.  If he could tell I hurt why didn’t he offer to help? Did he notice I was socially inept? Was he himself too proud to address it?  There are so many questions I can ask about tomorrows transaction.  Life can be so troublesome when it comes to everyday uncertainties let alone the ones that will make or break you. I mean how can I possibly face this in my condition? I know this is the moment where I decide what the true outcome of my life will sum up to, but how can I not be doubtful.
Planning to ask for help has left me helpless. I will go through with it, and if I am rejected I will move on from there.
4 comments
If you haven’t seen a psychiatrist yet, there’s tons of hope. Most likely it’s a chemical imbalance and it can be treated with medication. If it persists after that, well then you’re in trouble but not yet.
Social anxiety isn’t a severed limb, that is to say, it isn’t something that will necessarily be with you forever. It’s something that can be worked through. I respectfully disagree with you black swan. I don’t think social anxiety is a chemical imbalance. No one is magically rehabilitated to social interaction by taking pills. Treating social anxiety usually focuses on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
Anthrophobia, you said that you used to have a fruitful social life; did something happen recently that could be the cause of this change?
You’re absolutely right @Scar. I had no knowledge about social anxiety and assumed it was similar to bipolar disorder. I just read a little about the subject and found out that as you say therapy is the best solution and medication only help for very short periods of time.I found it curious at the beginning to hear that athropophobia didn’t used to suffer from this condition and suddenly had developed it. But apparently it’s a learned process of thought that create new neuropathways in the brain that result in anxiety…Anyway, this site might be helpful: http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/chemical.htm
This is in fact a chemical imbalance. This disorder goes beyond just feeling awkward. I have unforgiving physical reaction from social situations. Yes I previously had an extremely fruitful social life. I had friends that were truly friends. What I suffer from is a severe paranoia. The fact that it started at 18 years of age one could assume that is schizophrenia. I went and got medication. My doctor believed it was a chemical imbalance.
The chemical that I am lacking is most likely serotonin. Serotonin is the precursor to Gaba in the brain. Gaba is the end result for anxiety medications. In the most general explanation possible it promotes streamlined comfortable thinking. It increases the reaction time of the neural pathways. This chemical has a distinct calming effect that will only help a person reintegrate themselves into social circles.