Tired of Smiling.

I smile,

just so people don’t ask whats wrong.

Because if they did….I’d have to explain how my dad screwed up my life,how my best friend hurt me more than anybody could and i still miss her,  how im deeply depressed, and how just about every other day I want it all to end.

Now i’d probably never kill myself because if I did it would hurt the ones I love and the ones who love me, but I think about it….

a lot.

Somedays it seems like nothing i do is good enough.

and everything I say means nothing to anybody.

i breathe and it hurts.

i swallow and theres a lump in my throat holding back the tears.

I write songs and poems to express myself, but i dont show anybody.

I draw a lot too.

I have to hold on,

and keep my head up….

everybody should,

because no one knows what the future holds.

I didn’t stumble on this website because I was feeling bad and wanted help, i found it because I was researching suicide for a class at school. Im glad I found it. I like to know im not the only one who feels the way I do.

keep holding on everbody:)