worst.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt this awful.  Except maybe when I found out Amber was dead.

I feel sick.  Exhausted.  I spent so much of last night crying and then I couldn’t sleep.  I felt so tired it hurt, but I just couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

I’m considering calling my school’s on-call psychologist, but I’m scared.  Either that it won’t help or that they’ll try to force me into a hospital.  I wish I could talk to my girlfriend, but I’m 99% positive that she’s going to break up with me.  I’m not sure I can hear that right now.  I don’t want to be all alone again.  I can’t.  It’ll just be a repeat of last year and last year was the worst year of my life.