last night I dreamed I jumped from my 19th story window while my roommates and exboyfriend were banging on my door.
I love standing on my windowsill imagining jumping, but I’d never do it because I’m afraid of changing my mind before I hit the ground.
I woke up crying because I want to live and I want to die and I want both so, so very badly.
I can’t be the only one feeling torn…
7 comments
I want to be your friend I’m not worth much but I love standing on my roof wishing I could jump and just be free from all of this
i’m not worth much either
i want to be your friend too
<3
I know what you mean….looking forward to a better future but wanting it all to end. I sometimes day dream about killing myself, then I dream about doing something great like finishing college and getting a good job…I’m utterly confused.
Maybe try skydiving. It is a free, amazing feeling. You can see what your mind thinks then.
i want to live because what if… what if she changes her mind. what if we can be together again. what if she can fall in love with me again.
i want to die because what if… what if she is really so much happier without me. what if she never really was truly in love with me. what if i feel this emptiness forever.
i want to both live and die. and this existence of trying to balance the two choices in my mind and heart only makes it all worse.
i am sorry you feel the same.
darko, i feel the exact same way! exact!
torn between feeling so sad that other people feel like this and feeling comforted that i’m not alone.
why must everything be so bittersweet?
jael i’d love to try skydiving
jmvsic i completely understand how you feel about your ex, it’s how i feel about mine.
you’re all wonderful
<3